Thursday, February 26, 2009

Horrible Horrible Vengeance

So, employee Jon made it to the store early today only to discover we flooded. I got a phone call so cabbed my ass down there and yep. Super fun happy time. And so began the great times of moving wet boxes of comics and soggy toys and vacuuming well over 100 gallons of water out of the store. And y'know, that doesn't count the water soaked into the foundation.


And the cause? Apparently one of the tenants in the apartment above left a hose attached to the side of the building, and then wrapped up the end of the hose towards the back of the building, specifically behind us. And then someone left the water running over night.

I shall wreak a horrible horrible vengeance upon this person if their identity is ever discovered.

The sad thing is we are fairly used to this crap, since this is like the 6th major flood problem we've had. Actually, it might be more than that. What kills me is that of course, today had to be one of the worst days for customers I wanted to atomize into......well, atoms.

Idiot roll call:
-Dude who blamed me for the quality of events and shows in the greater Seattle area. Curse him for seeing me as the true master behind the entire social scene of a city.

-Dude who rummaged through all the soggy wet boxes I was placing out on the sidewalk and then asked if he could have go ahead man. I don't wanna know.

-Dude who knew we flooded cause he got the email newsletter I sent out with the title BIBLICAL FLOODING, then mentioned oh yeah he got the newsletter, and then wanted to talk on the phone with nothing important to say.

-Dude who came in and proceeded to do nothing but talk at me while I'm moving stuff around and cleaning. I CARE NOT FOR YOUR LIFE STORY.

-Dude who comes in at the last 5 minutes of the day and expects me to stay open past closing time. I will find a way to atomize your atoms. Seriously, that is how profound my anger is. SUB-ATOMIC PARTICLES ARE TOO GOOD FOR YOU.

Thankfully, that Dude I Hate did not show up.

So yes. Home now, yay. Rice for dinner, woot. Ranting out of system, hooray.
Now to dream of evil plots and horrible things to unleash upon the world tomorrow.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Because I'm lazy...

I don't have the mental will power to write about any single thing right now, partly because I'm just having my first bit of food since like yesterday. Woohoo! Some people call it being poor, I call it developing mental discipline through fasting. So as I eat this most awesome turkey sammich, here's just a bunch of random shit/thoughts:
-Your legs are like threads of cotton, though much thicker, and filled with weevils

-Hooray for nerds doing all the research for me!

-I am actually working on a super secret special blog/database that I will unleash in the near future. FEAR ME
It's not that super or secret actually, but I don't want to link it until I've established a hefty post base. Hopefully it will be helpful to comic readers and a generally handy resource guide.

-Justice Friends!

-Which Lantern would choose you?

-Nothing really made me want to destroy civilization while at work today, but man, when a toy collector doesn't hear the news he wants to hear about his toys he can go kinda ballistic.

-For no real reason, I believe P.Craig Russell should really do a giant Wonder Woman Graphic Novel and make it this totally epic mythological whup ass book. Time to bring back the Elseworlds GNs! And if you're worried about sales, go hire Neil Gaiman to write it. But P.Craig Russell!

-People who hate on Superman? You make me sad inside.

-This picture?
Will always make me smile inside.

Aaaand that's it. /sleep

Monday, February 23, 2009

I conquer better when I've had a few

Sorry for the lack in posting, been a busy weekend with my birthday and whatnot. Much drinking was had, and.....well, that's it really.

I believe I now know my exact evil power though. To totally drink a crapload of alcohol and wake up with no hangover, no sickness, and extra energy to boot.

And I mean a crapload.


Friday, February 20, 2009

...... >_<

So we ordered a crapload of Nightmare Before Christmas stuff before Christmas in the hopes of, y'know, having them here for Christmas. And we just got them in this week. Thanks, guys. Thank you.

Pic credit:

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

So cold, so so cold

Today's shipment was a little more soul sucking than usual for some odd reason. The shipment was technically small, but there were so many invoice problems and interruptions it didn't really matter. Plus, any shipment with 2 main X-Men titles and like 3 or so side x-titles is still gonna be a long work day for us.

Since I no longer contain the brain power to write something actually interesting, I present to you this: an ass beating


Sunday, February 15, 2009


This coming rant is a sort of reply to a chain of posts by Mike Sterling over at the Progressive Ruin. He made a comment about the Youngblood movie allegedly on the way, and opened up his blog to a discussion about Liefeld. I've been checking it out in morbid fascination because straight up, I am not a fan of Rob Liefeld. I would just about go as far as calling him a blight on the industry, but I realize that without him the current industry wouldn't exist the way it does and........wait, never mind, he is a blight. GRIT THOSE TEETH

No, really, I mean without him as a founder of Image such things as The Maxx, Powers & Walking Dead and all the good Image books may never have existed, at least not in the same way as we know them. So I will extend a begrudging hand of thanks in that regard. And from everything I've ever heard, he's supposed to be a really nice guy. So y'know, yay for that. BUT.
Above image found here

For the love of god, can't you afford to go to art school by now? I actually think maybe this is some sort of social experiment, and behind locked doors Liefeld is actually recreating like the Sistine Chapel and shit. Except God has a quadrillion little pouches and belts.
Above image found here

One of my problems though with the original Image crew is just the sheer lack of actual creativity. This from people waving the flag of creative freedom in their pursuit to escape being held down by editorial forces. I mean, really, look:

Jim Lee's WildC.A.T.S.= It's the friggin' X-Men. Look, there's Cyclops, Wolverine, Colossus, & Psylock.
Rob Liefeld's Youngblood=The Avengers with a mix of X-Men. Savage Dragon=Visually he's just the Hulk with a fin on his head, but after that the similarities do mostly stop. Hell, I enjoyed the first 50 issues or so when I was younger, should probably give them a reread.
Shadowhawk=Batman & Wolverine.

Spawn=Batman & Spider-Man

I don't want to take away the amount of work it was to start a new company and push forward with it. I don't want to take away the opportunities they made for other creators. But. C'mon. I don't want to hear any talk about how creative these guys were.

It's not like I'm bringing up anything new here, but Sterling's post combined with the solicitation for Liefeld's new project, SMASH! just brought this rant to the forefront of my brain.

The industry is full of this type of stuff, but it's more obvious when someone is playing with an archetype as an homage or when trying to do something new with an old concept. Astro City & Planetary being good examples. The base designs of the characters are all from existing concepts, but we know that's the point. Unless I'm mistaken, I don't think I have ever read an article with any of these guys explaining the same of their characters. Maybe Supreme, but I doubt it. Maybe they probably said something along the lines of yes, their characters are visually offering a tribute to established characters. I hope at least that much was said at some point. Otherwise, all that money was made off of ripped off concepts. And this is something the entire industry is guilty of at one point or the other. Are the X-Men just a rip off of the Doom Patrol? Are the Doom Patrol a rip off of the Fantastic Four? Messy business, we should probably just leave it and enjoy the stories we prefer to enjoy.

Advice I should probably take for myself, just as long as I don't have to hear about how creative these guys are and what artistic geniuses they must be. Kirkman, I'm sorry, but Liefeld is not the Kirby of our generation. Kirby is the Kirby of our generation, and he will be the Kirby of every generation because dammit, he's Jack Friggin' Kirby.

I hate you, 1995


The 3rd clone of Spider-Man. 3rd.
His name is Spidercide. He hates Spider-Man, so his name is......Spidercide.

I hate you, 1995. So damn much.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Bali Mangthi Kali Ma!

Not much of a Valentine Day person, but found this amusing.

Found it here

Friday, February 13, 2009

Dardo Me? DARDO YOU!

Got a nice message from blogger Wiec of When is Evil Cool?, offering me the Dardo award. I thought this was awesome because A) YAY! PEOPLE ARE PAYING ATTENTION TO ME!

and B) I really like Wiec's site so that was a cool nod. So to nod back, go check his site out as well as his Random Picture Day site. They are awesome and he has good write ups on movies, comics, and random other things of equal awesomeness. If you don't, you will zoom immediatly up to the top of the list of people who will not survive my inevitable rise to power. INEVITABLE.

Wiec also probably described my blog in a much more flattering way than I ever could. I usually tell people 'It's just me bitchin' at stuff. And monkeys.' His was '...a comic industry insider bent on world domination." So thanks for that as well!

What is the Dardo? Hell if I knew. TIME TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW!

"The PREMIO DARDO is designed to recognize unique voices and visions on the Web as well as to promote fraternization amongst bloggers of all sorts.

The Rules are:

1) Accept the award by posting it on your blog along with the name of the person that has granted the award and a link to his/her blog.

2) Pass the award to another five blogs that are worthy of this acknowledgement, remembering to contact each of them to let them know they have been selected for this award."

So there you have it. Essentially, it's kinda a chain letter/meme thing, but a cool one. Like that write 25 notes about yourself thing. Which, I still haven't done because I am prone to spectacular bouts of laziness >_>

Now the tricky part, figuring out who to pass the award onto. I really really really like waaaaaay too many blogs. So I'm gonna feel really bad for leaving people out, but here's my go at it:

1) Igloo of the Uncanny! has great reviews of tons of horror films. Also, you have to love the title.

2) Crom! definitely makes the list. Won me over so fast with posting the cartoons. Seriously, that opening theme song is so epic. Can you imagine hearing that when you're a kid? Part of the song is a dude screaming as he's being thrown and then you hear-

3) The Nerdy Bird over at Has Boobs, Reads Comics was one of the first blogs I regularly checked. She has great updates, reviews and an awesome sense of humor to go with it all.

4) Living Between Wednesdays. Total props for the Captain Cold Halloween costume. Lots of great reviews and great humor.

5) Valerie D'Orazio's Occasional Superheroine is also one of the first blogs I really followed. What I really appreciate about Valerie is that she calls it like she sees it and sticks to her guns. From her posts, she obviously has to put up with a lot of people who really don't like that aspect of her blog, to the point that she had to worry about her own safety. That shit drives me crazy. I really appreciate her opinions and the fact that she has additional perspective on the comic book industry that you might not find on your average comic blog.

So yah. That's pretty much my list. Lots of others I left off, but feelin' pretty good about this selection.

I did this entire post while listening to Edith Piaf & Nina Simone. Tonight was a good night.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Back to the drawing board....

So I was going to start construction on the Orbital Space Station of Doom this year, but my tax returns weren't all that great so scratch that.

I didn't get any of the death rays, freeze rays, or whatever the hell rays I wanted for Christmas either. No giant robot scorpion with a flamethrower for a tail either, so now I know Santa is a fake for sure.

And I only got all the stop signs out of California before I had to abandon that campaign, and I don't think anyone really noticed anyway.

No giant mutant ants yet, no crystal skull of infinite power, no megaton doomsday device.

This is a sad time for evil.

But one man will always make me remember that no matter what, you can't give up on evil.

It doesn't matter if you plan to conquer the universe with Anti-life or just want to ruin someones day. Sometimes, you totally just have to slap a calculator on your chest for the sake of evil and go forward regardless of how ridiculous others may think you look.

Be it giant stilt legs, a giant eyeball helmet, or you're really really really French and like to kick people. FOLLOW THAT DREAM.

Friday, February 6, 2009

How to murder an industry

I've already kinda ranted about this before, but it seems like something worth ranting about considering it's becoming more relevant every week.

Ringing up customers the past few days and ouch, those $3.99 books from Marvel are just killing everybody. If you were a more of a DC person, you only had one to deal with one FC: Legion of 3 Worlds. Hell, you even got a $1.00 book. For Marvel people though, only 6 or 7 of the normal titles were $2.99 while there were over 14 at $3.99.

So now more than ever, I feel like there are some oddball marketing shenanigans going on. Seriously, it's not that complicated. Marvel, you are trying to hook people into new titles such as:
Agents of Atlas
Secret Warriors
Black Panther relaunch
X-Men Bishop: A Random Waste of Your Time and Dollar
and whatever the hell else came out this week.

But you are charging people up the wazoo.

Now look over at DC. The Mighty, By Tomasi and Snejbjerg, is a brand new title. And look it's just $2.99! Sadly, now these days I have to consider $2.99 as 'just $2.99!'. But you get the idea. Any friggin idiot can get the idea. I sold out of Secret Warriors and Agents of Atlas, but honestly we didn't order super high shelf numbers because we have no confidence these days without strong pre-orders. I ordered relatively high for the Mighty considering it has no relation to any DC mainstream project, but I did that because I like Tomasi and actually did have confidence I could push them. Plus, $2.99. If I lose out, it's not as hard as say any of the $3.99 books we have to swallow.

So the question is if I can see this, and really, I'm not all too bright sometimes, why is it still happening? Is there some additional cost to the publisher I am missing? Is someone just not paying attention? Is it just greed?

The talks I've had with other employees keep on leading me to the idea that maybe, just maybe, Marvel is purposely trying to murder the single issue market. And I think I can understand the why. Many people are saying that online comics will be the future, and if it's popular enough it will just be printed as a TPB. That way, they can get into the bookstores as well. And if you look at the pricing practices going on in HCs and TPBs, I can understand that could be highly lucrative. Seriously, some of these Marvel HCs coming out are $25 for 4 friggin issues. DC is also guilty of this. Only people who buy just from bookstores might make the mistake of thinking that's a good deal. If they don't know the industry to any degree and don't even shop around to compare prices, then it's as simple as just putting something under there nose and chargin' them anything you want.

I don't want to see single issues go away. Lots of people don't. I think it's a weak argument that they are similar to newspaper in that you can just go online or watch tv for the news. Yah, but you rarely go back and reread or collect a newspaper. To attempt to do away with single issues is kind of a crime to me. I'm not that much of a collector any more, but there are so many readers who are. Disregarding that aspect, I just like to be able to grab a single issue and hold it. My eyes can't take a computer screen for the amount of time I might want to read a pile of comics. And I hate the idea of reading a comic on a small thing like an Iphone or whatever. I don't even have a cellphone dudes. I'm almost 27 and I feel like and old grouch. But seriously, someone tried to show me what that would be like and I hated it.

Then look at the economic situation. Here in Seattle, it's really really really starting to hurt. Just thinking about how many Microsoft employees are losing their jobs makes me nervous. Hell, bus fare went up this month and I'm seriously having to prioritize my budget due to that alone. That's like $15 a month minimum that now has to be pulled back from, guess what, probably comics. A hefty amount of customers are already trimming the fat from their subscriptions. But people want to buy comics. They want an escape. The industry needs to give them an excuse to do it. Oh hey, this book is only $2.50? Hell yeah, I can reason that over this $3.99 super glossy but supershort comic.

What I would like to see is someone in the industry really try to take advantage of this price swing. Find a way to cut your costs, and publish at only $2.50 or less. But it needs to be someone big. It can't just be like Radical or Boom!. And sorry IDW, unless you guys shape up you are going to be feeling the crunch. $3.99 across the board? Are you serious?

To make an actual impression and to create a trend, it has to be someone with a substantial presence. Dark Horse, Image, and DC are really the only companies I can see making this work. Top Cow gave it a try sorta by announcing it will not go past $2.99. And I'm sorry, I don't mean to come down on them, but really. You have Darkness and Witchblade. That is sadly not the chunk of the industry sales pie chart I am worrying about.

Take into account the current restrictions Diamond has placed on sales:

Already, creators are feeling the crunch.

Now take into account that actual competition is working on the distribution scene, slowly but it's there:

Now is the time. A publisher has to step up, and really push things in a new economic direction. It will be a risk. It will take time. But if nothing happens to change the current pace, I am really actually afraid for comics as a whole.

Then again, I'm just some guy managing a comic store. There's a whole crapload of stuff I most likely am not taking into account. And if anyone can pass along any info to educate me, that would be great. But from the ground level, it really feels like guerrilla warfare just to get comics into the hands of people who just want to enjoy them. Working behind enemy lines with little to no help here, guys. DON'T CUT OFF THE SUPPLY LINE.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Great Moments In Comic Book History

Deadpool Rochambeaus Captain America

Ah Joe Kelly. Only you could have pulled that off.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Thunder on the Tundra

You know what's awesome?

Friggin' Thor. Hey, I know it's bad. But I think that might just be why I like it actually. You can tell these guys love what they are doing. This is like the essence of fun to me. Seriously, one of the songs is called 'Throwing Cars At People On Coke With Thor'. If you can't get into that, you just might not have a soul my friend.

Match that with memorable lyrics such as 'I anger at my middle name' and 'War is Thor and Thor is War', and well, I rest my case. This is pure epic theatrical Metal right here. If you are a fan of Dethklok, you probably can get into this.

You can listen to samples here:

More info on Thor

And for the sake of awesomeness, here are the lyrics to the actual song Trumphant:

Across the Frozen tundra
Across the seven seas
Can You Hear, Can You Hear The Thunder Rising in the east
Into the frozen wasteland
One Man stands tall
Hear the cries of Glory As He slays them All!

The Call Of The Triumphant
The sound of Steel On Steel
The Marching Of The Warrior
Into The Battle Field (Repeat)

See The Chariots Blazing Across the Northern Sky
Hear the tunes of Glory
Are You prepared to die
The Mighty Sound Of Thunder
The steel across your Back
The Time of THOR is coming prepare for ATTACK!
\m/ (>_<) \m/