THIS IS WHY I HATE YOU

Random Links of Doom

2010-02-19T23:11:00.000-08:00

-Fun list of the Top 10 Movie Mad Scientists of All Time. Although I am sad Dr. Herbert West played by Jeffrey Combs wasn't included, I am glad Brundlefly & Dr. Mabuse made it in there.

-Some great Green Lantern/Blackest Night paintings done by one of our customers. Gotta love the gore like texture to the Rage one.

-New Works Inspired By Early Cinema by Dave McKean

-Triceracoptor!

-Little review I did for Mesmo Delivery, you should check the book out if you get the chance.

And finally:

Blackest Night Cheat Sheet

2010-02-09T11:56:00.001-08:00

In case anyone is interested or knows someone who is, I've posted a quickie relevance reading guide for all the Blackest Night hoopla over at Trustyhenchmen. Considering how expensive it could be to try to read all of it, people may need a little help figuring out just what is necessary to the overall plot and what is just a waste of paper.

oh such wonderful violence

2010-01-26T02:24:00.001-08:00

I've made it a point to re-read my Battle Angel Alita volumes again, partially because I haven't read much manga in a while and also because of all the James Cameron Avatar hoopla. Why is that relevant? Cameron's name has been attached to a Battle Angel movie for like a decade now, but the reason he apparently hasn't moved forward with it is because he felt the technology wasn't up to the challenge. So for those of you who really like the special effects in Avatar, the thing to realize is that essentially the entire movie was just a dry run for a completely different movie. And that's not to downplay Avatar, although feel free to downplay the story because it was really just like 4 other movies mushed together. Ferngully + Dances With Wolves at the least.

So the thing about Battle Angel Alita is that it's pretty bat-shit insane. Think of all the craziest fight scenes Jack Kirby ever pulled off and then take at least five different drugs and you might have a handle on why making a movie for this has been a pipe dream. It's not that the fights are especially Kirby-esque and epic, it's just that the amount of time put into designing and inventing fighting styles and fluid sequences is fantastic. And actually, some of them are pretty epic, so strike that, Kirby would probably have loved the sheer inventiveness of this series. There was an animated movie, but it just kinda mushed the first and second books together and that's sort of meh.

Anywho, to get to the point. I did a short review of the first three Alita books over @ Trustyhenchmen. If that spikes any interest, I would also recommend the current series, which is sort of a 'What If' take that replaces the last half of the final original volume with a whole new, crazier scenario. And this is the kind of crazy that seems natural that Grant Morrison wishes he could achieve. This is the kind of series that has a giant robot with a horse body wage war on a floating city, a mad scientist that's infatuated with flan, and a karate war that was essentially a free for all fight among thousands of martial arts cyborgs. KARATE WAR.

Considering in the last volume I read that Alita had her arm lopped off and then she proceeded to use it to pummel her opponent, I'm probably going to be bringing this book up a lot in the future.

Hope for humanity yet

2010-01-08T22:01:00.000-08:00

Was ringing up a mother and her kid, who was probably like 8-10 years old. They had picked up a number of the DC Showcase reprints, so right off the bat some good choices. Then she picked up the Martian Manhunter volume and asked him, "Who's this? Do you even know who he is?". To which the kid replied, "That's J'onn J'onzz! He's like tougher than Superman, and he's neat!"

"Tougher than Superman?"

"Yeah, but he's weak to just fire!"

My cold black heart grew three sizes that day. God bless you little dude. God bless.

pic via Apropos of Something

Need to show J'onn some respect, is all I'm sayin'

$%&@!

2010-01-01T08:07:00.000-08:00

Right off the bat for New Year, stepped into a giant pile of dog poo and then crashed into a bunch of stuff in the kitchen destroying crap. None of this was with the benefit of alcohol in my system.2010, you are doing nothing for your case to convince me that you do not deserve horrible horrible destruction.

I STILL FUNCTION

2009-12-31T03:10:00.000-08:00

Urg, been a while since I worked on this blog, sorry >_>

I've been spending most of my time updating my other blog over at Trustyhenchmen with constant reviews and stuff like that. Between that, tons of work, and the holidays I've just been lazy over here with my plots for destruction and world domination. With the exception of the giant doomsday robot gorilla, that project was completed but I forgot to actually install an 'on' switch. You all caught another lucky break with that one.
I promise I'll start posting somewhat regularly here again, at the very least to rant mad threats at the world and curse the names of my enemies. Actually, probably only to do that.

The Mercury Men

2009-09-14T21:51:00.000-07:00

Trailer for a web series. Looks like a lot of fun.

Primate of the Moment: Mojo Jojo

2009-09-10T01:09:00.000-07:00

Cuuuuuurses

Today's Declaration of Purpose

2009-09-08T13:54:00.000-07:00

I can't remember where I found this online. Pretty sure it's Bernie Wrightson though. Mostly sure.
EDIT: Mostly sure=not right at all. General consensus is that art is actually by Val Mayerik. Thx Skip, Booksteve, & Sleestak!

Comic Shop Etiquette War Journal: Just Don't Be Creepy for F's Sake

2009-09-07T16:45:00.000-07:00

Ideally you wouldn't have to keep an eye on such a thing, but it can sneak up in your store from time to time. Giving advice to customers seems kind of pointless since if anyone is doing anything creepy they are most likely not the kind of person to take any advice. So in general, this is more for retailers.

RETAILERS:

-Sometimes you end up with an employee that just doesn't realize that coming onto women (especially in our setting) isn't a great thing to do. First of all, many female customers don't go comic shopping just so they can deal with advances. Second, you're in a comic shop. C'mon. Try to help out the general image here.

I've worked with one gentleman who continuously made advances all the time, and would drop whatever he did just to help a female customer out. One time, we had to evacuate the building because of a gas leak. I went to the upper apartments to get everyone out. While we were all waiting on the streets for the City workers to deal with the problem, one of the female tenants came to talk to me and thank me for going to get them. Fellow coworker literally inserted himself between the woman and myself and actually said something along the lines of, "I'm the one who told him to clear the building." That was the level we were dealing with.

Another co-worker made it a habit to yell out to women passing buy to come in and buy comics. Not being a manager at the time, I still always had to reign him in and have 'the talk'. Pretty sure I was 10 years his junior at the time.

None of this is acceptable by any stretch, and after dealing with numerous people like this it becomes obvious that they don't actually comprehend this on a lot of levels. So you either have to reign them in hard or get them out of the store period.

-Having an adult section pretty much makes you a magnet for creepiness. This is where you have to decide if the potential profit is worth the risk, but after working in a store that used to have an adult section for over 5 years I would say it really isn't. I would tell you some stories to prove the point, but really. You don't want to hear them. Really.

-You do want your store to have a base line of cleanliness. Just try to avoid claustrophobic tight spaces, unnecessary darkness, and dangerous to maneuver designs.

CUSTOMERS:

As I said, this isn't something that non-retailers will be too interested in. This is pretty much a list of red flags retailers need to watch out for, and if you're a customer who does this subconsciously well then......stop please.

-Lingering around, obviously not buying anything. Sometimes harmless, but really needs to be watched.

-Breathing hard at inappropriate times. Had this one guy going around acting normal for a bit, was up front just trying to chat my ear off, and when a father and child stepped up to the counter he started to breath real hard. It goes without saying his ass was kicked out at lightening speed.

-Walking in with your hands covered in blood. Yeah.

-Dragging your girlfriend in when she looks like she did the last supply of your crack.

-Customer smells like rotten bologna.

-Customer comes in with open alcohol. Illegal, and happened twice just last week.

-Conspiracy nuts coming in to show you how the government is trying to screw us all over.

-Creepy little guys coming in to ask if they can paint you in the nude (not to me, but to an old boss).

-Guy comes in and gives female employee Beef Jerkey because he has a crush on her.

-Do not talk about the comic characters as if they are real

-For God's sake, try to not always sound like a fanboy with no sense of proper social interaction. I've had new non-comicy customers walk in and then someone goes in the most horrible little nerd rant that's usually insulting to A) Women, B), Parents, or C) HUMANS IN GENERAL.

I'm probably leaving a crap ton out, but you get the idea.

Kind of mean, but kind of awesome in its meanness

2009-08-29T23:29:00.000-07:00

I was working through the solicitations for the monthly orders, and I was reading the GI Joe stuff in the IDW section. This last note for G.I Joe Movie: Snake Eyes #1 caught my attention:

"And check out this cover-it's got red foil! Totally awesome!"

It's not just me, right? That kind of draws attention to itself, but in a snide kind of way right?

"Look at this you little fanboy! It's a total throwback to the '90's, you insipid little monkey! Friggin' rad, huh! HUH?!?!"

Maybe I just read too much into these things....

But honestly, as much as I think it sounds a little condescending, I kind of want to give credit for whoever wrote that. Mostly because that's exactly how I feel when I see most variant cover solicitations.

It's written by Ray Park, so you know.......yay?

Sorry, I don't mean to come off snide myself, I enjoy GI Joe & Snake Eyes a lot actually. I just had to snicker when I read that line in the catalog.

Post Wednesday Musings

2009-08-27T23:56:00.000-07:00

Ideally it would be great to do these say on Wednesday night, but screw it. After an 11 hour shift I don't want to look at a comic when I get home.

Anywho, here are some random thoughts for the week

-So I know this isn't strange and usually the norm actually, but did you realize Wolverine was in over 7 different titles this week?

Wolverine 1st Class

Wolverine Origins

Dark Avengers

X-Force

Hulk

Dark Reign Elektra

Wolverine Magazine

I can't remember if he was in this week's issue of New Avengers or not, I stopped reading that weekly a while ago. I also didn't bother to look at Timestorm, although I bet he's there.

Now, Wolverine's son who is dressed as Wolverine was in at least Dark Wolverine, Ms Marvel, and Dark Avengers, so I'm going to count that crap. He was probably in Dark X-Men, but I didn't bother to look.

This is also disregarding that Logan is in at least 3 trades paperbacks this week.

-Batman & Robin by Morrison keeps on selling out, and this week's number were even bumped up from all previous orders. It's interesting what happens to sales for a book when Morrison shifts his storytelling into a more linear focus.

-One of these days I will collect all the variant covers in the world and set them ablaze in a majestic holofoil pyre. There were over 34 different variant covers this week. And that doesn't include the ones we probably didn't qualify to get.-I really really really really want that Chemo toy. Also, maybe I do have my finger on the pulse of awesome sometimes. I'm totally taking credit for it regardless. Pic via Clone's Paradise

-Darkness Pitt sounds like A) a scary porno or B) a proclamation that you will indeed be reading an unnecessary story? This might even be well written, but I just don;t have the interest in these characters to plop any kind of cash down for it. Also, I'm sorry Paul Jenkins but you lost me when you had Sally Floyd yell at Captain America for not having a Myspace page or not knowing who won American Idol. If you need to recover from that page, here is the appropriate rebuttal.

-Only 6 titles with the word Dark in them this week. I'm not sure if that means we're getting a break or not.

-You will find some very odd things when you do a Google search for 'Evil hats'

Darkman vs Megatron vs Hellboy

2009-08-21T23:53:00.001-07:00

So here's a fun game to play, and you can do it a few different ways. This is my favorite grouping to use, but you can pretty much choose any combo of actors for it. My combo is Liam Neeson, Hugo Weaving, and Ron Perlman. Who of these three is the most kick ass?

Liam Neeson has been:

A Jedi

Aslan

Ras Al Ghul

Darkman

A crusader

Rob Roy

Sir Gawain

Hugo Weaving has been:

Megatron

Elrond

Agent Smith

V of V For Vendetta

A sheepdog

Ron Perlman has been:

Hellboy

Deathstroke the Terminator (Slade)

Killer Croc

Clayface

Orion of the New Gods

Vincent from Beauty & the Beast

The Abomination

The Fiery Blaze from the Tick

a vampire

Bane

Tony Stark

Conan

Lord Hood

Jax-Ur

a demon

The Sayer of the Law

The Hulk

Satan

If your going for sheer quantity and carrying the flag of geekery empowerment, then Perlman kinda wins hand down.

Megatron can pretty much step on everyone though. And even if you kill him, he comes back as Galvatron.

Aslan is pretty much Jesus, so that's kinda handy. Darkman is like a scientist and a master of disguise, so that's all sorts of awesome. So he's like super science lion Jesus with the force.

And a lazarus pit.

Of course then Perlman is Satan plus Hellboy plus Conan plus the Hulk plus Deathstroke the Terminator, so that's really hard to beat. His dad is Darkseid, the embodiment of all evil (also, Jack Palance/Richard Nixon). He might also be Smog in the new Hobbit movie, so damn man. Oh, plus he's a Kryptonian super criminal so your screwed under a yellow sun.

You can play the game by judging the awesomeness of each character in comparison to the others, or you can just for quantity. Or a combo judgement. You can go more points for obscurity, or just play it for important characters.

Other fun actors to use:

Mark Hamill

Christopher Lee

Ian McKellen

Jeffrey Combs

Tony Todd

Christopher Walken

I honestly don't think anyone beats Perlman for sheer representation of comic book characters. If you can find a person, then I really am curious.

Primate of the Moment: The Gorilla Witch

2009-08-18T22:34:00.000-07:00

Silver Age comics, don't ever change

You can call me The Conqueror.

2009-08-17T21:39:00.000-07:00

I'm turning into one of those guys who apologizes for updating their blogs late, aren't I?

Past couple weeks have been sort of hell weeks, but that's still a sucky excuse. So let's try to make up for it here with a crapton of stuff.

First off, WIEC? has seen fit to gift me with a blogger award, something I obviously don't deserve but am very grateful for. It means a lot to me that people actually read my mad ramblings, and he's been a long time reader (infinite patience must be your super-power, btw). What's the award? It's the Honest Scrap Award and here are the details:
1) link back to the awarder's site.

2) pass the award on to 10 other blogger sites.
3) spit out 10 honest things about yourself.

So, link back is taken care of. Making up a small list is kinda tricky because I think a ton of people need a good shout out, but for now here are a bunch of sites I think deserve plenty of attention.

1) The Bronze Age of Blogs

2) Building Batman

3) Pai

4) The Horror of it All

5) Geek Orthodox

6) I Like Horror Movies

7) It's Clobberin' Time!

8) And Now The Screaming Starts

9) Amazon Princess

10) Killer Kittens From Beyond The Grave

So now for the third item. 10 honest things about myself is kinda tricky, because I hate to do these type of personal lists. Here's my best go:

1) If it has Shirley Manson or Karen O in it, I will most likely check it out.

2) If I had to take a guess, I would blame a mixture of Transformers, GI Joe, and Spider-Man for my moral development. But it could be worse, at least I know that freedom is the right of all sentient beings and with great power comes great responsibility. And if you fire lasers at people, no one will ever get hurt.pic via DylanGreene

3) I've only seen the first season of Battlestar Galactica. I really liked it, it's just a slow process for me to catch up on these things.

4) I've been working in comic retail for 15 years. Consider every year a reprieve from the eventual doom I will rain down upon the world. The doom will be fiery. Not wet. Like normal rain.

5) I have no idea sometimes. Really.

6) I generally do prefer animals over people. If a customer ties up their dog outside so they can come into the store, I actually would prefer it if it was the other way around.

7) I don't have any inclination towards table top gaming. No D&D, no Magic, just not the stuff I'm into.

9) I did have a lvl 80 Undead Mage named Wrathamon in World of Warcraft. I cancelled my account back in April though, so the online gaming geekery has been put to a stop for now. But he totally got the Conqueror title, which I would like to point out was a bitch to get. Only 1 person in 3 years of playing that damn game ever picked up where my characters name came from, and it was practically on my last day too.

10) I haven't bought a new console game since GTA San Andreas. So yes, that means Playstation 2 was the last system I owned. So very far behind.

I think that about covers it. Thanks again to WIEC? for the shout out, and ideally I'll get off my bum and get some more writing done here soon.

Primate of the Moment

2009-08-06T12:36:00.000-07:00

What's better than King Kong? King Kong with kryptonite laser beams coming out of his eyes.

Comic Speculators

2009-07-31T19:41:00.000-07:00

When I was younger, I liked the idea that the comics I bought at the time could potentially be worth something down the road. I was always excited when I could afford some sort of 1st appearance of a character, and always had a list of books to look for. Keep in mind, affordable for me as a 11 year old was like the first appearance of Hydro-Man or Cloak & Dagger.
And man. I loved the hell out of that Hydro-Man issue. I would show it to my mom or brother and go "Look! 1st appearance of Hydro-Man!" and they would go "......who?" And I would reply "HE'S TOTALLY MADE OUT OF WATER. HE'S LIKE SANDMAN. BUT NOT. AND WHEN THEY RUN INTO EACH OTHER THEY MAKE THIS MUD MONSTER THING."

......sad, really.

As time went on, I could afford stuff like the first Alpha Flight or Black Cat, or maybe something like a beat up copy with the first Ocean Master. The thing is, while I always thought, "Wow, these things are worth money.", my mind never made the next leap which was "And then I will sell it." Because I loved just collecting and reading the damn things. I think a lot of us go on to value the read more as we become adults, as well as the collecting aspect.

In general I think most people would like their copies to be nice copies. If your book has a big tear or printing error, you usually will switch it out. On the flip side of that, many readers just want the content and don't care at all. Personally I'm in the middle, because while I would like to buy a nice copy, I'll take what I can take. If I damage the book at home, oh well, sucks but I read it and I don't really need to waste more money.

Then you have the pure speculators.

The reason I bring this up is that I had this one customer who really really really embodies the worse aspects of this hobby. It wasn't because of just one thing he did either, but of a super combo attack that was just......utterly breathtaking in it's dickery, is the only way I can describe it.

We start off with the detail that during his last visit, he was in a rush and asked my female coworker to pull down a variant copy of Captain America Reborn #1 from one of our walls. The specific request was "Only put it in my box if it's in perfect shape." The guy left right after asking that, so he wanted us to hold it for him. Ok, no biggie. My coworker pulls it down, and noticed it had the tiniest of tiny tiny spine dents. Tiny. I told her to go ahead and put it in his subscription box so he can judge by himself.

So the dude comes in when it's just me. I grab his books, and he pulls that one out. Angrily, he proclaims, "I told her to ONLY pull this if it was perfect." Tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny dent. Ever so tiny. I just tell him, well it's alright you don't have to buy it. We just weren't sure because everyone has a different concept on grading. To which he replied, "The guys at CGC would give me so much crap for sending this in!"

That's a superstrike right there for me, because I'm not a big fan of slabbing books. For those unfamilair, you can send your comics to a grading company that appraises your comic, seals it in an airtight container, and sends it back to you with a grade on a scale of 1-10. We've done it as a store before, I completely understand the benefits for online purchasing, it's all cool if you want to for your own collection. I will never slab a book though, and I'm not crazy when people brag about that crap. Simply because CGC slabbing is kind of the opposite of the entire damn point of enjoying a comic.

So, we move on from this and I take the book back. The next push in the combo of stupidity was when he complained about how my coworker 'handled' the comics. Apparently sometimes she grabs the pile by the spine. Seriously. Look, if a worker just grabbed a pile and tossed it hard at the counter then I would be pissed. My coworker does not do that. I mean I grab piles by the spine. I grab them by two hands. I grab them by the top. I friggin' grab them however the hell I grab them because I am just getting your comics. It's not an art form. There is no definitive way of grabbing a comic other than not stabbing the things and spitting on it as you hand it to the customer.

After narrowly escaping my desire to bash his head in with a random Batman statue, he then felt the need to brag more about what he just sent to be graded and slabbed. This is what I would refer to as the air juggling session of the dickery combo, right before continuing with the actual attack.

As the customer was looking through his pile, he complained that he got number 3 of an issue and not numbers 1 & 2. Then he found a number 2 in his pile and complained he didn't get a number 1. Keep in mind he was very agitated and really wanted to express his concern over the missing issues. Then he complained he was missing an issue of something else, but got the issue after it. Then he found the copy of #1 of the three issue series on the bottom of his pile. Then he found the other book he was complaining about under that. They were there in his hands the entire time.

So the lesson is: STFU AND LOOK THROUGH YOUR ENTIRE DAMN PILE BEFORE YOU EVEN SAY A SINGLE WORD TO YOUR CLERK.

Then I think the finisher move was him trying to pass on something he preordered, and then pouting about it whe I said no. It was that or his complaining that comics aren't well produced enough because it's hard to find 9.8 or above copies to send in to be graded and slabbed.

Either way, you should all be very glad I never finished my doomsday device because you would all be crispy fried at this point. Or frozen in a glacier, I never decided just what kind of device it was going to be.

Here's the really sad thing. This customer is just one of many who act the same way. Many many many. There's a fine line between collector and speculator. I have plenty of customers who are concerned about condition in their vintage books, but of those customers I know that they actually do open and read those books. They enjoy, and they collect. People who just collect for the sake of monetary gain are doing it wrong. In general, customers of this type seem to all have that hint of greediness behind their character. It's very interesting to actually see it in action and how it shapes their interactions and their attitude about the industry. And by interesting, I mean soul crushingly painful.

That was kind of a long rant there, sorry. I'll try to post something more positive soon.

Comic Shop Etiquette War Journal: Helping People is Good

2009-07-26T17:34:00.000-07:00

So one of the tricky things to do is figure out how helpful is too helpful. Often times people don't like to be asked if they need help, but then customers might also complain that they were either ignored or couldn't get any help when they needed it. So you need to develop an eye for seeking or offering help.

Retailers:

-What I like to do is after greeting a customer, I go back to what I was doing and then after the customer has had the time to look around you offer them help. Give it a minimum of five minutes, but often times more is better. If a customer needs it right off the bat they will come to you, and you need to drop what you are doing (unless you were already helping a customer) because helping the customer does take precedence over all other jobs.

-Why the hell would you ignore a customer, even if you were in a bad mood? Seriously, customers equals business. No customer service equals no money and that equals no job for you. Your moodiness and anti-social qualities need to be tossed right out the window.

-If a customer looks suspicious, zoom in with an offer for help earlier than later. Sometimes you need to get a handle on people early otherwise they have too much time to case the store. If it looks like they are looking for something but can't find it and then they turn down your help, little mental red flags need to start going up. If they are twitchy they will hopefully get nervous that your paying attention to them and ideally drop the entire plan. If they aren't casing the place, then no damage done since you were just asking if they needed help.

-Don't keep asking the same customer if they need help. That's annoying. You should have other jobs to do. Go.

-Don't single out a customer if they are a woman. I've had guys crowd ladies and it's just embarrassing. Also, walking out onto the street and yelling at women to buy comics IS NOT ACCEPTABLE.

Customers:

-Don't be afraid to ask for help. You need to measure the store staff as well, so nothing does that better than politely asking for help.

-Depending on the size of the store, the staff might be large enough that there are different specialties. Keep in kind that if you wish to get a handle on the store, you should also get a handle on the workers. While it would be nice if everyone knew everything about anything, that just won't be the case in general. Keep in mind we are just like you and we all have different tastes. I have one guy who specializes in Silver Age and Underground, one guy who likes just mainstream, a couple people who like a bit of everything, and so on and so on. Try to find the person who does the ordering, if you can. Ideally their brain should be some sort of nexus of comic reality since they have to know what the hell they are ordering.

-All stores order from the same distributor (Diamond), with additional smaller distributors to the side as well. If you want to find out if something is available, ask if it's available from Diamond. Any retailer should be able to look it up real quick like, and most of us will have the same access to items. There are slight differences depending on what coast you are on, and some retailers may have extra tricks up their sleeves. I just usually find it interesting when it seems some retailers won't place orders for customers and then I look up the same item and I do have access to it.

-Watch the clerk if he is already helping people and he is the only one around. Sometimes we have single shifts with no backup and then we get swarmed with a dozen people and the phone starts ringing. When you see an opening, by all means go ask for help. Just don't try to tackle us when we look like an aneurysm is imminent.

-If you come up to the counter and are ready to be helped and the clerk is somewhere else working (or even slacking off), don't be afraid to find us and say you are ready to go. You need to actually let us know if you are in a rush and not just assume we will magically pop up when your ready to go. If you are a customer I trust, I am probably not watching you like a hawk since I'm usually busy with other work.

-Parents, don't be afraid to ask if a comic is appropriate for children. If we intercept you because you are buying Johnny the Homicidal Maniac for a 6 year old, please just hear us out.

-Please please please have some sort of vague idea about what you need help on.

"I'm looking for a book. It's blue. People do stuff in it."

That is not acceptable. You think I'm joking. I am not.

Primate of the Moment

2009-07-25T21:23:00.000-07:00

Comic Shop Etiquette War Journal: Say Hello for God's Sake

2009-07-17T20:00:00.000-07:00

Let's see here. I was wondering if I should do these in some sort of order, but I decided it might work just fine if I do what comes to mind. We'll see if it turns into a train wreck or not.

One of the most common complaints I read/hear about is that when a customer enters a comic shop they are not always greeted with a friendly welcome. Sometimes they are ignored, grunted at, or watched like a hawk. So, lets hit the store staff first.

Retailers:

-It's understandable that maybe you aren't having a good day. Well, here's some more bad news; suck that shit up crybaby. You work retail even if this is a different type of retail. Regardless of if your a clerk, manager, or owner you better greet those god damned customers.

First of all, it's just the polite thing to do as a human being. Second, if you want your business to actually have business you better get used to being socially acceptable to some degree. Again, I know sometimes it's tough when your tired or have had a bad start. Sometimes I go into work low on gas or with the yearning to crush someones skull with a rock. The moment someone walks in though, I say hi. I don't make a big hoopla about it and I don't make it sound like I'm the happiest guy on the planet. You say 'Hi, how ya doing?' or 'How's the day treating you?'. When they ask you back, you don't have to lie but you shouldn't make a spectacle of yourself. There is no need to tell them why you got a problem, that's not why they came in. If you know the customer well, you can get into it maybe. The best thing to do though, if you can't honestly answer back positively is to answer back with a joke or just say 'Hangin' in there'.

People like it if your genuine. In fact, people can relate if you're just the guy doing his job and helping them out. You don't need to be a glorified car salesman and be their buddy. Just don't treat them like they are a burden the moment they walk in. Even the people you hate, you should just be polite and keep your distance if you know they will set you off. I do my best loathing from a distance.

-Now here's a tricky one. I've often heard the complaint of the clerk watching the customer like a hawk from the moment the customer enters the store. Now, ideally the clerk isn't a douche and isn't leering at you because you're a woman. I've worked with people who wouldn't leave women alone and well, the experience was soul sucking. That's behavior that needs to be weeded out as fast as possible.

The one thing I don't think customers take into account though is the very very very high shoplifting rate comic stores have to deal with. Some stores can't afford cameras or any type of real security besides an alarm, so it's up to us to watch the store. As sad as it sounds, unless we really know and trust a customer, almost everyone can be suspect. It's pretty much impossible to tell who is going to rip you off. So customers, if that sounds paranoid at all, well you just have to suck it up as well cause it's the truth. Parents will use their children to steal. That is the world we have to live in.

A few months back, another comic store called and warned us of a shoplifter who they were able to identify as stealing numerous hard covers. The general description was incredibly vague, an average height and build Caucasian male. Only one thing really stood out and that was the detail that the man had a limp. The very next day, a very generic Caucasian male walks in with a limp. I felt like a douche, but I watched him the entire time. Was he the guy? I'll never really know. Haven't seen him in a while, maybe I made him feel uncomfortable. Sucks either way.

Customers:

-Hopefully, you enter a store and the clerk greets you. You know what you should do? GREET THEM BACK. Today alone I was ignored by 3 customers both on their way in and on their way out. Everyday it happens so it can be a little disheartening.

-YOU HAD BETTER TAKE OFF YOUR DAMN EARPHONES OR TURN THE MUSIC OFF. I swear, that is one of the rudest things and instantly earns you my hatred. You may listen to your music after you have said hello and acknowledged you have entered into a place of business and the nice clerk has said hello. Just be sure you can hear them say hello.

-Do not enter the store yelling. Just, please. Please don't.

-Do not enter the store while very audibly judging us. Please. It's kind of mean :(

-Store staff does zoom in on certain things when looking out for shoplifters. These include:

A) You are wearing a hoody 3 times your size

B) Your outfit is practically made of pockets

C) You do not instantly volunteer to leave your backpack at the door

D) You won't stop twitching and your hands are covered in dried blood (I am not making that up).

E) You ask us what is the most expensive item in the store

F) 3 or more teenagers enter the store at once. Seriously, I don't want to sound like an old fart but that shit just makes us nervous.

G) You enter a circle pattern across the entire store, arcing more than twice with yet nothing in your hands to buy. One loop means you found nothing. Two loops means your maybe killing time. Three loops is trouble.

-That's pretty much it, you really don't have much etiquette to worry about on this one.

A lot of this stuff seems common sense, on both sides. Sadly, not the case. If I do seem like I'm just stating the obvious, please let me know so I can refine my focus a bit though. I don't want to just pointlessly rant.....er, no wait, that's the entire point of this blog. Never mind.

Thinking is hard

2009-07-15T20:56:00.000-07:00

Blarg, I am pretty tired.

Something that I have been planning on doing soon is compiling an etiquette/survival guide for comic book stores. Now I'm fairly sure this has been done before and by finer people than myself, which is actually part of the point that I will get to later. Most of the time when I read anything about 'how to run a friendly comic book store', it usually makes a lot of sense but focuses on a lot of things that to me are a given. For example, don't be a douchbag. Make it a friendly and inviting environment for kids and women. Clean the damn place. Y'know, basic stuff.

What I feel tends to be missing is a sense of actually understanding what kind of work goes behind the scenes in this type of industry and the people who are on the front lines. I'm kind of hoping of going into a lot of different topics and addressing them from both a retailer's point of view as well as a customer's. For example, I may choose something as store presentation and examine what a customer might perceive as a good store and then examine what priorities a retailer might have versus the actual ability of that retailer to achieve them (via funding, time, management, available workforce).

Now anyone who has read this blog for any amount of time might be familiar with a few details about myself; I get pissed off a lot. I'm kind of cranky. I get touchy about the way people judge comic book stores without allowing for a discussion. My life goal is to destroy this planet. I like monkeys.

Those fundamental aspects of my personality might help you to understand the following basic stance I have about how a retailer should operate in this industry:

As a retailer, you should do everything in your ability to create a healthy, polite, and inviting atmosphere so as to promote this medium and your own business for the sake of its survival. HOWEVER. You need to keep in mind that an alarmingly large portion of your customer base are A) ignorant of how your business and this industry work, and are generally B) greedy, rude, selfish, socially maladjusted dumb asses who need to be savagely beaten from time to time.

Unfortunately, you are not legally allowed to administer said beatings. So you have to realize one all important facts otherwise you will have a mental breakdown at some point. You can't make everyone happy all of the time, so screw it. Let's go get a drink.

Some stores have the funds to look awesome and are cool with awesome customer service. Some have the funds to look cool and are operated by complete assholes. Some are huge messes run by nice guys. Some are huge messes run by creepy hippies. I work in a store that while not really pretty it is not a huge honkin' mess either. We have to balance the aesthetics with the quality of service and find a nice middle ground where you don't really mind the concrete floor and just care about dealing with friendly people who will help you find some comics.

We are by no stretch perfect, but then neither are you.

That's pretty much all the context you'll really need for the future. Let me give you two short examples just to illustrate the way I'll be doing this guide thingy.

Example one: Mistakes are made often times by both parties.

A) We accidentally gave you Angel instead of Amazing Spider-Man in your subscription one week since they are right next to each other in the pull boxes. We switch it out, or worse case scenario is we are out of Amazing Spider-Man and we have to reorder it for you. Sorry about that, we screwed up.

B) This customer keeps telling me he's been missing books every single visit for the better part of 2 months . He gets a number of titles that always have variant covers or reprints, as well as any and all Ender's Game titles which can be a bit confusing at times. Each time I help him find what he thinks is missing, but he seems kind of agitated. After a month though I have to question the situation because seriously, we can not suck at this that bad. Sure there is human error but for this level of mistakes we would really have to suck.

So he comes in again, and says 'can I tell you something?' I go sure. He proceeds to tell me that he just worked through his comic boxes after moving for the past few months, and he has duplicates of every single book he complained about. We filled the subscription right, but because he wasn't checking the variants and actual issue numbers (because seriously, every cover to Ender's Game looks the same) he assumed the worst and doubled up.

Most guides are pretty much one sided and just tell a retailer how they should behave. They never seem to actually prep you for the sheer stupidity you have waiting ahead of you. So what I was hoping for in the longterm was that I can touch on a great number of subjects and try to give both examples of how not to be a douchbag as a retailer and as a customer.

Thoughts?

A Day In My Life as Told with Gorillas

2009-07-06T22:47:00.000-07:00

This is exactly how I look most of the time on new comic day while dealing with our customers. Well, except when I'm like this. But then I go get some drinks and then I'm all
Then I go read the last issue of All Star Superman and I'm like
But then I pick up something by Mark Millar, which results in Then someone randomly feels the need to tell me Joe Quesada is the greatest thing to happen to comics ever
After that I rip their limbs off and go look for a banana.

The end.

At least one of those pictures I know is via entersandiego.com

No' the wee dug! No!

2009-07-01T21:57:00.000-07:00

Sorry, that was just one of the better moments from comics this week and I couldn't think of a better subject title.

Anywho, just mentally recovering at the moment. Finished the bulk of data entry on a new point-of-sale system, which pretty much required transfering about 400 subscriptions one by one and title by title. Still a little while before the complete launch, but it has taken a major leap forward. After clocking in a crapload of overtime to do that I wasn't much for updates, so I'm just wondering what I can cram in here.

A question for anyone who has been reading the Green Lantern titles: How are you enjoying it? Or are you tired of the build up and Blackest Night hullabaloo?

I ask because while our sales have been storng and growing, a few customers have dropped the titles because they A) Don't feel it is going anywhere worthwhile, B) Has been taking too long for the build up, and C) Feel it requires them to read too many different titles.

I'm pretty much the opposite on all of the above myself. Especially the too many different titles part, since it's only two different books. I actually prefer Corp over GL because Tomasi is doing a fantastic job of balancing numerous sub-plots with a huge cast. Regardless, sure, when Blackest Night actually starts there are a few minis besides the main title but I'm a little more confident they won't be as mandatory as say Superman Beyond was to Final Crisis.

I actually really enjoyed the Agent Orange stuff as well, so all in all I'm having trouble really understanding some of the complaints.

Let's see, what else is interesting:

-So, on Saturdays we close at 8pm. This past Sat a few minutes after 8 and before we could get the doors closed, a group of customers walk in. I politly let them know that we will be closing in a few minutes. So they look around the center of the store for a sec, turn around and head out, and one of them snidly says "That's customer service for you."

I feel that I would have been found innocent if I actually had bashed his skull in, but I was tired and just let it go. That guy is probably gunna be the one dude who goes online and starts to bitch about us though >_<

-No one seems to be buying the extra copies of Captain America: Reborn that I ordered so far

-_-

We upped the order an extra 60 over normal Cap numbers as well, so yay.

Also, didn't Captain Sisko suffer basically the same type of problem once that Steve Rogers seems to be experiencing here?

-Damn it's a good week for apes

That's about all I have for now.

Oh, and this:

Oh, c'mon already

2009-06-23T23:49:00.000-07:00

There are 10 different Marvel books arriving tomorrow that have the word 'Dark' in their title somewhere -_-

DARK AVENGERS #6 $3.99
DARK AVENGERS UNCANNY X-MEN UTOPIA #1 DAX $3.99
DARK REIGN ACCEPT CHANGE TP $24.99
DARK REIGN ELEKTRA #4 (OF 5) DKR $3.99
DARK REIGN HOOD #2 (OF 5) DKR $3.99
DARK REIGN LETHAL LEGION #1 (OF 3) DKR $3.99
DARK REIGN SINISTER SPIDER-MAN #1 (OF 4) $3.99
DARK REIGN SINISTER SPIDER-MAN #1 (OF 4) DKR $3.99
DARK REIGN ZODIAC #1 (OF 3) DKR $3.99
DARK WOLVERINE #75 DKR $3.99

One is a trade, so whatever. Nine titles and all at $3.99. I'm used to being hit over the head with the event crap from DC & Marvel, but seriously. They've managed to go past event overkill since the actual Dark Reign isn't an event but just the umbrella theme for the season. We have people going for it, so the sales will point them towards believing they can get away with it. Is this just a temporary sales bubble, or will this actually generate a whole new level of interest but throw us into another Dark Age of the comics industry?

Does Wolverine really have to be any more grim and gritty?

This sounds about right....
"If the Golden Age and the Silver Age were the childhood of Super Heroes, and the Bronze Age and the Dark Age were their adolescence, the Modern Age is surely the college years: all the work gets turned in late, people come up to you with crazy-awesome ideas all the time (most of which don't really pan out), and there's still some of that adolescent attitude left, but it's fading into adulthood, and you start to realize how much you miss the simple pleasures of your childhood."

via TV Tropes

Primate of the Moment

2009-06-22T23:56:00.001-07:00

You really should go and find yourself some Skyape

How to price things so they will actually sell.

2009-06-17T22:32:00.000-07:00

Please keep in mind this is just my opinion as someone who is actually trying to, y'know, sell this crap. Then again, what the hell do I know, right?

Here are examples from this week on some bad packages, along with some great packages so we can get a good comparison going.

FAIL:

X-Infernus HC

Why fail?:

1. As a minor X-Men mini, most people would prefer to save their money and buy a soft cover.

2. Why does this deserve to be over sized?

3. Ok, 4 issues at $3.99, plus the one shot thingy, and the saga pages (which who the hell needs anyway.....). My math still says this isn't worth more than $19.99. And it is priced at.....$29.99.

WIN:Sleeper Season 1

Why win?:

1) Out of print for the past year, Brubaker's work (notably his work with Sean Phillips) is in high demand. Bringing this back to print in a condensed format is smart.

2) 12 entire issues for $24.99. Yes, that is a fantastically good deal. If I remember correctly, the original cover price was $2.95, so the actual value of the trade is at least $35.

FAIL:Power Pack Classic Vol 1

Why Fail?

1) Classic? Really? You guys throw that word around way too much. Classic Champions? Really? If you crack out Classic Secret Defenders, we are going to have a long talk I think.

2) $29.99!!! For 10 issues! You shouldn't have to pay $10 for 10 issues guys, c'mon.

3) These need to be priced down and reformatted for the appropriate audience: kids. That should be your target group, dumbasses. No parent wants to drop that much money in one shot for a comic that their kid will most likely destroy. There is no reason this should be glossy and there is no reason to market this as some sort of fancy complete edition.

WIN:Nexus As It Happened TP

Why win?

1) Nice reprinting of the original stuff, smaller format so not everyone will like that but a handy introduction package.

2) $9.99 price tag, Really, that's a lot of good reading for your buck.

FAIL:

The Irredeemable Ant-Man TP

Why fail?

1) The package is well put together, but considering this is one of Kirkman's slower sellers in comparison to say Walking Dead and Invincible you would want to put it out at a reasonable price, not say

2) $34.99 >:( Yes, this is 12 issues, so that's about the right price technically. Look over at Sleeper though, which also has glossy paper. I think you can probably put together an actual set of the single issues of this series for less money simply because you'll find them in bargain bins. Sure the same could possibly be said about Sleeper, but the fact that the very thought jumped to my mind as someone who wants both volumes should be an indication of the possible market strength of the book.

WIN:Hitman Vol 1

Why win?

1) Out of print for a while and written by Garth Ennis, this is basically guaranteed to sell

2) Reprints the first appearance in the Demon Annual, a story from Batman Chronicles, and the first three issues of his own series, the price tag on this sucker is $14.99 which is not a bad deal at all.

This was just one week's worth of books, and DC does pull plenty of shenanigans. I try to look at the trades and their prices every week as they come in and the general trends sink in pretty hard and pretty fast.

1) Unnecessary hardcovers in a confusing assortment of formats, with DC publishing soft covers way slower than Marvel therefore sucking out as much cash as possible from less patient readers.

2) Marvel will gouge you silly till they can use your blood as a cheap alternative to ink.

3) DC does the same as well, with HCs that reprint only four or five issues for $19.99-$24.99. However, they seem to do it a little less frequently and the gouging doesn't seem to go as deep.

4) It would seem to me that Marvel is banking on these larger packages to sell at Barnes & Noble and other large bookstore outlets. I would assume the logic behind it is that most shoppers who don't go to comic book stores don't know any better to compare prices with the original source material and are used to most books costing $24.99-$29.99 anyway.

5) Dark Horse prices are generally agreeable, their books shipped with more care, and if there is a softcover or a hardcover choice, they only tend to make you wait a month at the most for a softcover. Sometimes they ship both at the same time.

I mostly bring this up because there are a lot of things that I think we could actually sell if they were just packaged appropriately. I also realize there may be a number of factors I haven't thought of and perhaps certain things have to be packaged the way they are. It would be nice if there was more interaction with retailers on this front.

Thoughts?

aaaaaaand nobody gave a damn

2009-06-16T18:11:00.000-07:00

So yeah, talked to one of the guys who worked the store yesterday. 2 phone calls of interest, and no real extra traffic whatsoever besides a few subscription customers coming to pick up the book so the Internet wouldn't spoil it for them.

Granted, it's not like I ordered a crapload to support it or anything.

I do like the title of this article, looking back on it. Retailers Unhappy With Cap #600?

The question mark makes me kinda laugh, is all.

WHY?!? WHY WOULD YOU WHY WHY?!?!?

2009-06-15T21:29:00.000-07:00

Greblach! Fah! >insert noise Sideshow Bob makes when getting hit by a rake<
http://blog.newsarama.com/2009/06/13/rumor-mill-is-marvel-revisiting-the-clone-saga/#comment-466124

So far it's just a rumour, but....ugh. The art looks legit though, and if we compile the latest list of atrocities from Marvel this really isn't that hard to believe in.

Also, in regard to Captain America #600. First, it's handy to read this. Now, Monday is my day off from work. There were going to be three guys working the store on different shifts today with some crossover on the off chance it would get busy. I told them if hey, they need anything, gimme a call. Well, no call, so I'll find out what the traffic was like tomorrow.

But here's the sad truth of it. If it's a resurrection, no one in the general public gives a shit unless it's Jesus.

Reach

2009-06-13T10:19:00.001-07:00

Check out more of these @ http://myfirstdictionary.blogspot.com/

Are you there God? It's me, Norrin Radd

2009-06-12T18:04:00.000-07:00

So this guy comes in looking for Silver Surfer stuff. He wants newer stories, not old ones. So he's basically denying himself the best material right off the bat there, but never mind that. After I aim him in the right direction and hook him up with the names of some of the trades we don't have in stock at the moment, I ring him up and he says:

'I have an agreement with God; that when I die I get to cruise the universe as his Silver Surfer.'

....bo-kay. He said it real matter of fact like and didn't seem to be joking. So a few conclusions from this:

1) That direct line to God thing must be handy

2) Dude, if I knew I could just make that shit up and it was good to go when I die I would have been planning for my afterlife way back

3) Why do so many people seem to lack that important thing that tells you it's best not to say certain things in public?

Now, as far as an afterlife choice goes, granted, that one is almost sweet despite the endless brooding and whining that comes with being the Silver Surfer. I myself would have had trouble deciding on an afterlife full of either Transformers or monkeys, but now that I know that I can just change it up willynilly I guess I can have both.

You had me at crucified on Stilt-Man's legs...well, ok, you had me before that

2009-06-10T21:12:00.000-07:00

I like reading Let's Be Friends anyway, but the first panel of this strip pretty much cemented my eternal love for it. Just check the white board out.
Check them out @ http://www.letsbefriendsagain.com/

Primate of the Moment

2009-06-09T01:42:00.000-07:00

I like to believe the gorilla is pointing out a flaw in the dude's math. But that's just me.

Fwugga

2009-06-04T22:29:00.000-07:00

Bleh, been a bit since I posted. Just too dang busy and tired lately =/

Have a new point of sale system we've been working with and the data entry is evil, plus just normal monthly Diamond orders and a few other things. Ideally I should have some more time to catch up and actually get crap posted all up in here.

A few things of interest:

-This whole Captain America #600 thing. Now, I will start with saying that I probably should have increased our orders on the issue much more than I did. However, between the economy sucking ass and the general fall of sales in Marvel books for our store I decided to be conservative in my orders. Also, because there is an entire series called Reborn written by Ed Brubaker, we pretty much figured that the actual return would not be in #600 and that issue #600 would essentially just be a double sized hooplah. A well written hooplah, but just a hooplah. Not a 'ZOMG-WE-SHOULD-ORDER-200-COPIES' kinda deal.

So, my order increases for #600 after the announcement of the media involvement are on back order, meaning we won't get any of them on the actual release date. Meaning that whatever I get on the Monday shipment (the day the larger media will break the news of whatever the hell is happening in the issue), will be just enough for the subscription customers and very few off the street people. That means there is virtually no real benefit for paying the extra shipping to have the books delivered on Monday, other than just to say we did it.

So, once again, I have to ask the obvious question: Why will the assholes at Marvel not just over ship copies and charge for whatever isn't returned? They do it. They did it for Dr. Doom & The Masters of Evil. WHY NOT DO IT WITH SOMETHING YOU KNOW WILL SELL OUT.

I know the actual answer, it just contains too many swear words for me to actually print.

-C'mon, really? Did you have to print X-Men 2099 in a collection? And charge $29.99? When Marvel decides it's time to publish Ravage 2099, that's it. I'm pretty much done with ever trying to understand comic book marketing departments.

-On the plus side, Marvel did release this over the past week:

And it is just as awesome as that cover leads you to believe.

That's pretty much all I got in me for the time being. I'll try to zip online again soon to write some more hopefully.

For now, watch this:

Primate of the Moment

2009-05-20T23:25:00.000-07:00

Can't really go wrong with Gorilla Man from Agents of Atlas.

This is one of those me being lazy posts because today was kinda long. And yes, there is such a thing as seeing too many comics in one day.

Books I Think You Need

2009-05-15T01:12:00.000-07:00

It was kind of a meh week this week, wasn't it? I mean there was some decent new stuff and titles I expect to be regularly great, but all in all a smaller week and that is definitely reflected in overall store traffic and the girth(or lack of) of the subscription boxes.

The one thing I think might get overlooked though is the fantastic Brinkley Girls hardcover put out by Fantagraphics.

Edited by Trina Robbins, you would be doing yourself a favor by checking it out

http://www.flickr.com/photos/fantagraphics/sets/72157616739963996/

http://www.fantagraphics.com/index.php?option=com_myblog&show=The-Brinkley-Girls-The-Best-of-Nell-Brinkley-s-Cartoons-from-1913-1940---Previews-Pre-Order.html&Itemid=113

Curse you Fantagraphics, I'm trying to save money you bastards.

Primate of the Moment

2009-05-15T01:00:00.001-07:00

Recommend Comics (like a boss)

2009-05-12T22:22:00.000-07:00

I think the one thing I love the most about working comic retail is when someone comes up to you and just straight up asks for recommendations. It's not always fun, because sometimes people just don't really know what they want and they just keep shooting you down and waste your time. That might sound arrogant of me, because maybe I'm just not recommending the right thing to them.

No.

This is kinda my shtick.

I will find you the book you want.

And you will like it, dammit.

*ahem*

Because often times, if you straight up do not like what I recommend to you, I will let you bring it back for store credit. Because not everything clicks, and that's all cool. I always try to talk with the person though to get a good handle of what they like, what kind of books and movies they like, so ideally I can peg them down with a couple options.

In this case it was a couple who were just getting into comics. I talked a bit with them first to see what kind of genres interest them before I just shot into it. Only a couple specific requests, so I pretty much had free reign. And it was fun because they were open to suggestions but also guided me as we went along and gave me a better idea of if I was heading in the wrong direction or not.

So they ended up taking:

Criminal

Mother Come Home

Walking Dead

Batman Long Halloween

Umbrella Academy

Green Lantern Rebirth

Also, after talking with one of the guys down at Fantagraphics, we now have an additional pile of Love & Rockets FCBD books so I gave them one of those as well.

So here's to hoping they like their books, but they seemed pretty happy and excited to try new stuff.

That is a good pile o' readin' though, I need to crack open my Mother Come Home again. Can't recommend it enough if you haven't tried it out yet.

http://www.darkhorse.com/Books/12-798/Mother-Come-Home-TPB

Primate(s) of the Moment

2009-05-12T22:16:00.000-07:00

Blazing Combat

2009-05-11T21:31:00.000-07:00

Just finished reading and cannot recommend enough the new Fantagraphics release Blazing Combat

Check it out here.

First off, it's Archie Goodwin writing. The stories are great, even if you aren't into war comics. The real showcase for me though is the art. Check it:

Frank Frazetta

Alex Toth

Wally Wood

John Severin

Al Williamson

Russ Heath

Gene Colan

and more

via ICV

I've always loved Severin's work, but his pages in here make me want to run off and buy the original art. I'm fairly poor but have been thinking about who I would want to buy pages of if I could anytime soon, and he seriously just zoomed right into spot #1. Russ Heath is not too far behind.

Like 7 years back I had some money and made it a point to buy a few pages of art from artists I really love, mostly because I knew it would be some time before I could again. Ended up with A John Cassaday Planetary page and 2 Rags Morales pages from his Hourman run. There are many more I would love to get, but yeah, Severin jumps to the top after this book.

Best supervillain name or BEST supervillain name?

2009-05-08T22:41:00.001-07:00

From a random chat:

MADASS

Discuss.

* Apologies, this post is pretty much for just one person

Primate of the Moment

2009-05-08T22:34:00.000-07:00

THIS DUDE
*I really wanna give credit to where I found this, but I saved the pic a while back. So credit to whoever deserves it

Free Comic Book Day War Journal: Aftermath

2009-05-04T00:35:00.001-07:00

So as you could guess from the last post, FCBD was horribly busy. Every FCBD has been great for us traffic and business wise, especially since we always add a little sale and usually have someone signing or have a bunch of stormtroopers on the sidewalk. Those guys do wonders for off the street traffic (and car accidents, but y'know, whatever).

This year, however, was just crazy. We opened 15 minutes before our usual time and were greeted with a slow trickle of customers. About another twenty minutes into that you could not walk across the store. So much humanity. Like a never ending wave of....humanity. Two of us behind the counter with two out on the floor, and the flow of customers at the register was non-stop. Every time I left the register to help on the floor, I was bombarded and helping virtually every person I came across.

We pretty much doubled up on our free comics this year and put in a bunch of overstock on top of it. Yeah, that lasted till about 3:00pm and I might be generous saying that. We did let people take a total of 8 books each, so we were expecting to run out fairly fast. I got on the phone to see if I could send people to other stores and found out that at least one of them had already been sending people down our way. By 3pm we actually had to refill the free books with extra inventory we just had on hand that we were expecting would become overstock anyway (CURSE YOU, TRINITY).

No one really complained though, because even when we were out of the FCBD kids books (Sonic, Archie, Owly, DC Kids, Melvin the Monster) I just started pulling some books from our kids spinner(Tiny Titans, Marvel Adventures) and passing those out. So while I am tempted to bump our quantities for next year, 4 hours worth of free inventory ain't bad, especially considering we were supporting the traffic of a few other stores as well towards the end there.

I can't help but be flabbergasted by people who come in at like 6pm expecting us to have a full compliment of the official FCBD books. Nobody bitched us out, but you could tell they were disappointed.

What's also interesting is that we didn't actually have the 501st Legion stormtroopers show up. They were supposed to but due to some sort of scheduling snafu only one guy showed up. We had an Imperial Officer greeting customers at the door, and I have to say that dude was a trooper. By himself, when all the customer were expecting Boba Fett and clonetroopers, and in the rain. This dude stuck it out for like 6 hours and was cheerful as hell and posing for pictures and making kids smile. If the Empire had more guys like Chuck, those dirty rebel scum wouldn't have had a chance.

That's the other thing. It was raining a lot, and traffic was horrible due to construction in numerous key spots. Yet with all these problems, we still had the best showing and best sales in the entire history of all our FCBDs.

Now all of that being said, I do plan to either throw myself down a flight of stairs or jump into traffic before next years event. Because seriously. Everyone was lucky I didn't pull out the death cannon within the first 5 minutes.

Anyone have any good FCBD stories or were you happy with the selection this year?
I'm always interested to hear peoples take on it.

Free Comic Book Day War Journal: Day Blargamarga

2009-05-02T19:07:00.000-07:00

Blargar! Brigga bahuooo, dfaser dhdgjfkfgez

Guh

Free Comic Book Day War Journal: Day 1

2009-05-01T23:51:00.000-07:00

Things on the agenda!

-Going through many boxes worth of back stock inventory so they are ready for the uber sale we are having.
Seriously, there were a lot of Batman, Superman, and X-Men we were missing in the bins. Price price price.

-Making room for the said boxes of back stock comics in the inventory.
eeehhhh totally made someone else do it, MANAGER POWER GO

-Coordinate work schedules (like a boss)

-Filing copies of Blackest Night into the subscription files of all customers signed up for Green Lantern, GL Corp, or Blackest Night. Not everyone can come in this Sat, so we ordered double what we were planning so GL fans wouldn't miss out.

-Someones sweeping and cleaning tonight anyways, but tomorrow morning probably gonna give it a double over if time permits.

-Getting people hyped up for the 501st Legion showing up

Really, not much else but to tidy up a bit more and hope the weather holds.

Curses

2009-05-01T01:54:00.000-07:00

So I've been pretty lax in updating recently, and when I have its been quick posts with just pics or videos usually.

I'm hoping to write a larger item on Free Comic Book Day, so maybe I'll get a pre-game write-up tomorrow and then after Saturday report on the horrible horrible, er, I mean happy fun time free comics yay

Free Comics Book Day is good for many reasons, chief among them the promotion of new comics to new readers, all the kids coming in and trying out comics for the first time in many cases, and exposure for new titles that otherwise might have a hard time reaching an audience in the current industry (YAY ATOMIC ROBO).

But last year, I had at least 4 people poke me in the chest because I was wearing the FCBD shirt asking "What's that?!?!" And I mean sharp poke in the heart. By the 2nd person I was ready to start ripping off appendages, but there were far too many witnesses. And it's always great when people complain about the selection of free comics. Even though we have every single one available on hand. Oh, but you wanted that $35 hardcover book for free? Because the poster outside on the window says Free Comics, but doesn't specify which ones, so you thought it would be cute to push your luck? Go outside, take a sharp right, and go get hit by a bus. The human race no longer has need for you. Gtfo.

Free Comics Book Day is an awesome day. But it is a long tiring day, full of as many idiots as it is great people. So I won't lie through my teeth and say I'm looking forward to it. I hope many people leave happy with many free comics. And I hope I don't have to kill any of them as well.

So that cheery bit being said, this is where I get lazy and just post pictures and a video for you.

First, is an artist feature for Marciotakara. Check out http://www.marciotakara.com/ and http://marciotakara.deviantart.com/

And second, I never get tired of forcing people to watch this:

Batman + Dinosaurs + Sugar & Spike = Dang, I'm out another $2.50

2009-04-24T22:12:00.000-07:00

So why should you buy Batman: Brave & The Bold #4? And don't give me any of that "But it's a kids book" crap.

You should buy this issue because:

A) Batman totally teams up with Sugar & Spike to fight Felix Faust

B) It guest stars Aquaman

C) It has a magical liopleurodon

D) Just look at the friggin' cover.

Batman with dinosaurs is a combo you really really really really can't go wrong with.

Gah!

2009-04-21T00:17:00.000-07:00

Again with the robo-spiders!

First you get yer Kirby, then you get yer Herbie

2009-04-15T22:28:00.000-07:00

This....this was an awesome week for comics. I don't usually post stuff I'm reading, but this week......so full of awesome. BEHOLD:
Such a great job on the printing too. Looking forward to reading it.

http://kirbymuseum.org/blogs/simonandkirby/archives/1784

Herbie!

http://www.darkhorse.com/Books/15-936/Herbie-Archives-Volume-3-HC

Transformers: All Hail Megatron #10

Omega Supreme!

Dudes. Ok, you could probably tell from the cover this was going to be awesome. But it contains two other things that push it well over the edge of awesome and into the bottomless pit of ZOMFG.

1) Kanjar-Ro TOTALLY cracks out the Gamma-Gong.

2) Kanjar-Ro also unleashes an army of giant mutant alien ants (YES), and the most logical course of action to battle the ants was to transform the Super Friends into gorillas and other primates. THE MOST LOGICAL COURSE OF ACTION.

Transformers: All Hail Megatron #10

OMEGA SUPREME!

Wondermark vol 2!

http://wondermark.com/

Sub-Mariner 70th Ann special has a back up story by Mark Schultz and Al Williamson!

Transformers: All Hail Megatron #10

"But surely the Decepticons would have focused on you. They must have sent an army to take you down, how did you survive!?!?"

"I AM OMEGA SUPREME."

Jellaby vol 2!

And this wasn't even everything. By the time I read Green Lantern Corp #35 and saw a giant snake alien coiled around a planet, my brain blew up. You may have heard the explosion, it was like a sonic boom going off. IN MY MIND.

.....would Optimus Prime get a blue ring? Or a green?

Gah, too much geekery

Stately Wayne Manor

2009-04-14T22:02:00.000-07:00

Just started reading through this site and it is now one of my favorites. If you are a fan of Tiny Titans you should be able to get into this.

http://the-dark-cat.livejournal.com/

I'll take a couple thousand of 'em

2009-04-11T10:02:00.000-07:00

Now to weaponize them just a little more......

I need a theme

2009-04-05T20:41:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me the other day, how would I accessorize my henchmen?

Which is a very good question because I haven't actually chosen a super villain theme. This isn't a choice to be made so quickly though, so I wouldn't mind any suggestions.

Here's some stuff to keep in mind:
-Not much of a budget here, so keep it basic.

-The evil army will have many, many gorillas in it

-Kirby dots are win. Hell, if we can figure out how to work them into the toilets of the space station of doom, even more win.

-I will totally create a device to block out the Sun just to fuck with people who keep saying how happy they are that Spring is here.

How would you accessorize your henchmen?

My Fevered Brain Presents: Blind Justice Has a Big-Ass Robot

2009-03-31T00:47:00.000-07:00

I feel the intense need to watch/read something that features the blind swordsman Zatoichi teaming up with Omega Supreme now.
via Relaqsa

via Here

And that would be the first issue of my new comic: Completely Unnecessary But Compelling Team-Ups. I think they would be a sufficiently hardcore introduction to the concept.

Issue #2: Tony Jaa & Rom The Space Knight in a little story called KYAG, Suckas

via GeekProspectus

via well, Rom

Issue #3: Abraham Lincoln & Jack Bauer in Four Score and Seven Ass-Kickings Ago

via SuperPunch

via SMH

Aaaaaaand I should finally go to sleep because I'm obviously delirious.

Memed

2009-03-30T17:34:00.000-07:00

Wiec? over at When Is Evil Cool memed me on 6 things about yourself.

Here's the dillio:
1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules on your blog.
3) Write six random things about yourself.
4) Tag six people at the end of yer post and link to them
5) Let each of the six persons know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6) Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

If I told you anything about my day to day plotting, I would have to launch your houses into space. I'll keep it quick and useless:

1) I have been shot in the head with a laser once. This is a fact and a life goal achieved, so woot.

via Nationmaster

2) I do not like Ferris Bueler or A Christmas Story. Which makes me like the only person, I think. But seriously, it's all we ever watched in school durin' a free period or holiday.

3) I still get a little verklempt whenever I see Optimus Prime die. via Retrojunk

4) I really would have to think about it, but if I had to answer you who I thought was my favorite actor of all time on the spot I would probably answer Shintaro Katsu.

5) I never had Omega Supreme when I was a kid, and I will kill someone for it if I ever get the chance. Kill. Dead.

via OAFE

6) On one of the first days of my first job, I was told to guard the door to the backroom of the shop on one of the hottest days during Summer. The back was cool, shaded, breezy, and full of comics. I asked the boss if he y'know, wanted me to do any work. He just said 'Nope, just sit back, watch the door, and read comics.' On that day, the store had a guest signing stuff: comics legend Jim Steranko(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Steranko). I didn't know who he was back then , so I was just 'Okay, whatevs.' So there was Steranko, almost fainting of heat exhaustion and surrounded by sweaty comic nerds. And there was me: sittin' back, takin' in the breeze, and readin' some comics. Damn, it's good to be a gangsta.

via Wiki

Here are the six poor souls I'll pass this along to now:
1) ChrisHaley
2) rob!
3) Tlieso
4) D0nna Tr0y
5) Peter
6) Adri Leya

ThOOmm!!

2009-03-27T22:42:00.000-07:00

Oh, so that's a WTFuppercut.

So burly, the sound of the punch is its own frame.

So, it might just be me.....

2009-03-23T19:34:00.000-07:00

....but instead of reading Batman: Battle For the Cowl, I think I would like to read a title called Batman: Amok Time instead. And it would go a little something like this:

Upon finding himself trapped back in the time of Anthro the First Boy at the end of Final Crisis, Batman gets tired of waiting for DC editorial to send Booster Gold back in time to save him so it's time to do the job himself. Stealing a time machine from one of the fifty gajillion DC time villains randomly visiting the period he's stuck in(Lets say Per Degaton? Just cause?), Batman then looses the time machine in the belly of a T-Rex. After taming the T-Rex though, Batman uses its newly acquired time travelling abilities to port his way through DC history, teaming up with famous detectives and other heroes of the past to fight crime and injustice. Because he can't control the time dinosaur though, Batman doesn't know where he will end up and what each adventure will bring him.

And yes. Batman will totally get to punch Hitler in current continuity.

DC? You may now hire me.

via Nick Bachman

So....you're telling me you own comics

2009-03-21T01:12:00.000-07:00

Guy came in with his son, who I would guess was no older than 12. After asking me a whole bunch of Watchmen questions, because he took his son to see it (really?), he starts to tell me what comics he owns in his collection. Like, all of them. Alllllllllllllllllllllllll of them.

And it doesn't sound like a bad collection, its a lot of '70's Marvel with a sprinkle of DC and some '80's thrown in. But I'm also in the middle of doing paperwork and entering orders and fairly obviously busy. I'm being polite and all though and just reply 'Oh, cool' and 'That's a good run' and so on the entire time.

An hour later, I think he finally finished telling me everything in his collection >_<

I really wasn't going anywhere with this, although I do fear for that kids sanity.

Golden Age Awesomeness

2009-03-20T10:57:00.000-07:00

So we just picked up a massive Golden Age collection of Batman, Detective, and the World's Finest. I'll slowly post them on here just to show the awesomeness that is the Golden Age, but the store scanner doesn't work and neither does mine at home (bah!). So I'll slowly just link the covers through the ComicBookDB.

This one made me think of Chris Haley for some reason

If you crop the top off, that is the most awesome high five ever.

The sheer force of awesome it produces is actually making Robin reel backwards a little.

Also, I think this is the most times I've ever said awesome in one post.

This amuses me to no end

2009-03-13T10:06:00.000-07:00

via BrentBrown

I am full of love, dammit

2009-03-11T00:57:00.000-07:00

So I took that 'Which Lantern Corp are you?' test I posted earlier, right? This one here:
http://www.quizilla.com/quizzes/6281401/which-lantern-do-you-deserve

And I came out a Star Sapphire. Needless to say, many people have found this to be amusing.

But also.....

I would like to point out that I would totally make that shit look sexy, yo.

I also feel it is an appropriate time to post the following video:

Sapphire pic via DC Wikia

We meet again, my arch-est of enemies

2009-03-10T00:10:00.000-07:00

So you know that dude I hate? Well, he's actually small game compared to my true archenemy. I say archenemy as no exaggeration because every time I have to deal with him I pretty much feel like this:

pic via ComicBookDB

I lose a small part of my ragged and shriveled soul every time I meet this guy. In fact, I'm fairly sure my soul has been replaced with nothing but pure rage and contempt just because of this dude. I hate him more than that dude I hate. Just.......just check this shit out. This is in no order, it's just the shit he pulls. Like every time. For ever. And ever.

-Kicked up a major fuss over .05 cents worth difference in the total the register gave for his purchase vs the total he came out to in the calculator. Yes, he carries a little pocket calculator and spends like 30 minutes every purchase figuring out his costs. If your budget is this tight, you should probably just stop with the comics.

And I mean a fuss. Like he would not let it go, so to shut him up I just tossed him the change from my pocket. It was that day I sadly discovered that the mental daggers I was throwing at him with my mind were not lethal at all.

-Has asked us numerous times to buy him something from another store and then resell it to him with his subscription discount because we sold out of it. For reals.

-Told me he didn't want to order a $50 book, but he wanted to see it so he asked if I could order it. It was a random piece of crap, so I said no we need a pre-order for it because I have no confidence it would sell. So he then asked me to search through all the other stores in the city so he could go and look at it. My hatred aura makes babies cry within a one block radius wherever I go.

-Constantly filled his order forms in the following way: Items marked in pen meant he for sure probably wanted them kinda, while items marked in pencil meant he sorta kinda wanted them but not enough for a 100% commitment, more like a 60% commitment. That shit.....that shit does not fly with orders. And it would always be like a $50+ box of Xena collecting cards or something like that he scribbled down in pencil. Not to come down on Xena, but seriously I am not gonna order those cards without a commitment.

-Will ask my female co-worker a question, then completely disregard her answer and ask a male worker the same question.

-Will come in and look at the books in his subscription constantly, but never buy them until some point at the end of the month. So he always has us pull them out so he can inspect them. Just....just come in once a month. Please.

-He came in one time and hung out for like an hour like he usually does, and I helped him on and off. I was sick that day and feeling kinda nauseous and bleh, so after he left I excused myself to the restroom cause I felt horrible. I hear his voice and he has come back in and asked someone where I went, they say I went to the restroom, and he says he will wait. I would have broken through the wall into the next store over if I only had a hammer. And he totally waited me out too, the bastard. I open the door and he is like staring at the restroom door. And his question? Do I think if some random comic will be worth collecting, cause y'know, all this shit we buy today will pay out millions of dollars in the future. skfsgzghf;lv;ls

-Expects any comics he might sell (to us, a retailer) full guide price if not more.

-I am 96% sure he never ever ever ever ever reads his comics.

-Oh and he will interrupt other customers.

Now take all of those, and repeat. Constantly. Every week or so. I am still leaving stuff out.

When I finally enact my terrible doom plans on this planet, you'll know who to blame.

Ruh-oh

2009-03-06T19:22:00.000-08:00

So, 6 customers over the past four days have sent me their new subscription lists, and on every email they all say the same thing: have to trim off the bulk of Marvel, $3.99 is too expensive.

I've already had plenty of customers do this, but not this many all at once. It was like pow pow pow all in direct reply to my last email newsletter, and the customers are all across the spectrum of jobs so it wasn't like they were all Microsoft or anything.

So, Marvel. I refuse to believe you are all friggin' idiots. You all have to read the numbers. Marketing has to exist for some reason. What's up? What's the grand master plan?

Bah.

Trustyhenchmen

2009-03-02T19:47:00.001-08:00

So as I noted earlier, I've been working on another project lately which is partially why my posting is kinda random. Although honestly it was random in the first place, but that's besides the point. NEW SITE!

I'm not dropping this blog at all though. The new blog has a very specific purpose and is something I've been wanting to do for a while now. See, I don't really bother doing reviews on this blog for a few reasons. First, I figure there are so many review sites out there anyways and it would be kind of a waste of effort to just do straight up reviews without bringing something else to the table. Which is not a dig on other review sites, but considering I don't have too much traffic on this blog I wanted to try something different.

And that something is http://trustyhenchmen.com/

So, to give you a better idea of exactly what I want to try to do, I'm gonna copy & paste the About info from the new blog here. Because, you guessed it, I'm still a little lazy.

"I’ve worked many years in comic book retail, and one of the things I enjoy the most is recommending books to new readers. I’ve seen many other retailers handle this situation a number of ways, including only recommending books that they personally enjoy the most. While I believe you should have that passion for what you like, I also think you are shortchanging the customer and your business.

I always believe that you should find out exactly what the customer likes. Do they prefer fantasy? Crime? Do they only like drama and prefer no men-in-tights in their stories? Or are they a super-hero fan all the way? Once you get a better idea of their personal leanings, then you can direct them towards something they can enjoy more. The best way to make sure you can do this properly is to have a good general knowledge of what is available to them in every genre. Think of it as necessary homework if you want to be a successful comic book retailer. If you don’t know what Maus is or have never read Whatever Happened To The Man of Tomorrow, then you might be a little lost sometimes when you want to help somebody out.

The purpose of this blog is to create a database of short reviews on every sort of comic book imaginable. This is meant for virtually anyone interested in comics, not just retailers who are trying to expand their base knowledge of what is available. I’ll be categorizing each book listed here by a number of different genres, as well as tagging them with creator names so you can have easy access to whatever grabs your interest."

So, I was hoping on having more reviews done before I linked the site here, but 15 is a good enough start I think. The host is Klat, which I'm still getting used to their design and overall system but I've had a lot of help setting it up and it will continue to morph a little as we go.

The reviews are not especially long, mostly because I am more concerned about building the database and giving the 'how to recommend' notes above all else. As I have more time I will try to expand on them, but considering my goal is to catalog hundreds and hundreds of titles I need to pace myself considering I will maintain this site as well.

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, and you can leave that here or over there or wherever.

Horrible Horrible Vengeance

2009-02-26T22:20:00.000-08:00

So, employee Jon made it to the store early today only to discover we flooded. I got a phone call so cabbed my ass down there and yep. Super fun happy time. And so began the great times of moving wet boxes of comics and soggy toys and vacuuming well over 100 gallons of water out of the store. And y'know, that doesn't count the water soaked into the foundation.

Bleh

And the cause? Apparently one of the tenants in the apartment above left a hose attached to the side of the building, and then wrapped up the end of the hose towards the back of the building, specifically behind us. And then someone left the water running over night.

I shall wreak a horrible horrible vengeance upon this person if their identity is ever discovered.

The sad thing is we are fairly used to this crap, since this is like the 6th major flood problem we've had. Actually, it might be more than that. What kills me is that of course, today had to be one of the worst days for customers I wanted to atomize into......well, atoms.

Idiot roll call:
-Dude who blamed me for the quality of events and shows in the greater Seattle area. Curse him for seeing me as the true master behind the entire social scene of a city.

-Dude who rummaged through all the soggy wet boxes I was placing out on the sidewalk and then asked if he could have them.......you....you go ahead man. I don't wanna know.

-Dude who knew we flooded cause he got the email newsletter I sent out with the title BIBLICAL FLOODING, then mentioned oh yeah he got the newsletter, and then wanted to talk on the phone with nothing important to say.

-Dude who came in and proceeded to do nothing but talk at me while I'm moving stuff around and cleaning. I CARE NOT FOR YOUR LIFE STORY.

-Dude who comes in at the last 5 minutes of the day and expects me to stay open past closing time. I will find a way to atomize your atoms. Seriously, that is how profound my anger is. SUB-ATOMIC PARTICLES ARE TOO GOOD FOR YOU.

Thankfully, that Dude I Hate did not show up.

So yes. Home now, yay. Rice for dinner, woot. Ranting out of system, hooray.
Now to dream of evil plots and horrible things to unleash upon the world tomorrow.

Because I'm lazy...

2009-02-25T19:00:00.000-08:00

I don't have the mental will power to write about any single thing right now, partly because I'm just having my first bit of food since like yesterday. Woohoo! Some people call it being poor, I call it developing mental discipline through fasting. So as I eat this most awesome turkey sammich, here's just a bunch of random shit/thoughts:

-Your legs are like threads of cotton, though much thicker, and filled with weevils

http://www.madsci.org/~lynn/juju/surr/

-Hooray for nerds doing all the research for me!

http://www.comicmix.com/news/2008/11/26/the-stories-that-informed-batman-r-i-p/

-I am actually working on a super secret special blog/database that I will unleash in the near future. FEAR ME

It's not that super or secret actually, but I don't want to link it until I've established a hefty post base. Hopefully it will be helpful to comic readers and a generally handy resource guide.

-Justice Friends!

http://www.hulu.com/search/cartoon?company=all&showname=justice+friends&type=all

-Which Lantern would choose you?

http://www.quizilla.com/quizzes/6281401/which-lantern-do-you-deserve

-Nothing really made me want to destroy civilization while at work today, but man, when a toy collector doesn't hear the news he wants to hear about his toys he can go kinda ballistic.

-For no real reason, I believe P.Craig Russell should really do a giant Wonder Woman Graphic Novel and make it this totally epic mythological whup ass book. Time to bring back the Elseworlds GNs! And if you're worried about sales, go hire Neil Gaiman to write it. But P.Craig Russell!

-People who hate on Superman? You make me sad inside.

-This picture?

Will always make me smile inside.

Aaaand that's it. /sleep

I conquer better when I've had a few

2009-02-23T23:44:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the lack in posting, been a busy weekend with my birthday and whatnot. Much drinking was had, and.....well, that's it really.

I believe I now know my exact evil power though. To totally drink a crapload of alcohol and wake up with no hangover, no sickness, and extra energy to boot.

And I mean a crapload.

FEAR ME.

...... >_<

2009-02-20T09:59:00.000-08:00

So we ordered a crapload of Nightmare Before Christmas stuff before Christmas in the hopes of, y'know, having them here for Christmas. And we just got them in this week. Thanks, guys. Thank you.

Pic credit: http://mcgeek.net/

So cold, so so cold

2009-02-18T22:50:00.000-08:00

Today's shipment was a little more soul sucking than usual for some odd reason. The shipment was technically small, but there were so many invoice problems and interruptions it didn't really matter. Plus, any shipment with 2 main X-Men titles and like 3 or so side x-titles is still gonna be a long work day for us.

Since I no longer contain the brain power to write something actually interesting, I present to you this: an ass beating

OH SNAP

GRIT YOUR TEETH, GRIT YOUR TEETH DAMMIT

2009-02-15T13:35:00.000-08:00

This coming rant is a sort of reply to a chain of posts by Mike Sterling over at the Progressive Ruin. He made a comment about the Youngblood movie allegedly on the way, and opened up his blog to a discussion about Liefeld. I've been checking it out in morbid fascination because straight up, I am not a fan of Rob Liefeld. I would just about go as far as calling him a blight on the industry, but I realize that without him the current industry wouldn't exist the way it does and........wait, never mind, he is a blight. GRIT THOSE TEETH

No, really, I mean without him as a founder of Image such things as The Maxx, Powers & Walking Dead and all the good Image books may never have existed, at least not in the same way as we know them. So I will extend a begrudging hand of thanks in that regard. And from everything I've ever heard, he's supposed to be a really nice guy. So y'know, yay for that. BUT.

Above image found here

For the love of god, can't you afford to go to art school by now? I actually think maybe this is some sort of social experiment, and behind locked doors Liefeld is actually recreating like the Sistine Chapel and shit. Except God has a quadrillion little pouches and belts.

Above image found here

One of my problems though with the original Image crew is just the sheer lack of actual creativity. This from people waving the flag of creative freedom in their pursuit to escape being held down by editorial forces. I mean, really, look:

Jim Lee's WildC.A.T.S.= It's the friggin' X-Men. Look, there's Cyclops, Wolverine, Colossus, & Psylock.

Rob Liefeld's Youngblood=The Avengers with a mix of X-Men. Savage Dragon=Visually he's just the Hulk with a fin on his head, but after that the similarities do mostly stop. Hell, I enjoyed the first 50 issues or so when I was younger, should probably give them a reread.

Shadowhawk=Batman & Wolverine.

Spawn=Batman & Spider-Man

I don't want to take away the amount of work it was to start a new company and push forward with it. I don't want to take away the opportunities they made for other creators. But. C'mon. I don't want to hear any talk about how creative these guys were.

It's not like I'm bringing up anything new here, but Sterling's post combined with the solicitation for Liefeld's new project, SMASH! just brought this rant to the forefront of my brain.

The industry is full of this type of stuff, but it's more obvious when someone is playing with an archetype as an homage or when trying to do something new with an old concept. Astro City & Planetary being good examples. The base designs of the characters are all from existing concepts, but we know that's the point. Unless I'm mistaken, I don't think I have ever read an article with any of these guys explaining the same of their characters. Maybe Supreme, but I doubt it. Maybe they probably said something along the lines of yes, their characters are visually offering a tribute to established characters. I hope at least that much was said at some point. Otherwise, all that money was made off of ripped off concepts. And this is something the entire industry is guilty of at one point or the other. Are the X-Men just a rip off of the Doom Patrol? Are the Doom Patrol a rip off of the Fantastic Four? Messy business, we should probably just leave it and enjoy the stories we prefer to enjoy.

Advice I should probably take for myself, just as long as I don't have to hear about how creative these guys are and what artistic geniuses they must be. Kirkman, I'm sorry, but Liefeld is not the Kirby of our generation. Kirby is the Kirby of our generation, and he will be the Kirby of every generation because dammit, he's Jack Friggin' Kirby.

I hate you, 1995

2009-02-15T00:59:00.000-08:00

Spidercide.

The 3rd clone of Spider-Man. 3rd.

His name is Spidercide. He hates Spider-Man, so his name is......Spidercide.

I hate you, 1995. So damn much.

Bali Mangthi Kali Ma!

2009-02-14T09:33:00.001-08:00

Not much of a Valentine Day person, but found this amusing.

Found it here

Dardo Me? DARDO YOU!

2009-02-13T00:27:00.001-08:00

Got a nice message from blogger Wiec of When is Evil Cool?, offering me the Dardo award. I thought this was awesome because A) YAY! PEOPLE ARE PAYING ATTENTION TO ME!

and B) I really like Wiec's site so that was a cool nod. So to nod back, go check his site out as well as his Random Picture Day site. They are awesome and he has good write ups on movies, comics, and random other things of equal awesomeness. If you don't, you will zoom immediatly up to the top of the list of people who will not survive my inevitable rise to power. INEVITABLE.

Wiec also probably described my blog in a much more flattering way than I ever could. I usually tell people 'It's just me bitchin' at stuff. And monkeys.' His was '...a comic industry insider bent on world domination." So thanks for that as well!

What is the Dardo? Hell if I knew. TIME TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW!

"The PREMIO DARDO is designed to recognize unique voices and visions on the Web as well as to promote fraternization amongst bloggers of all sorts.

The Rules are: 

1) Accept the award by posting it on your blog along with the name of the person that has granted the award and a link to his/her blog. 

2) Pass the award to another five blogs that are worthy of this acknowledgement, remembering to contact each of them to let them know they have been selected for this award."

So there you have it. Essentially, it's kinda a chain letter/meme thing, but a cool one. Like that write 25 notes about yourself thing. Which, I still haven't done because I am prone to spectacular bouts of laziness >_>

Now the tricky part, figuring out who to pass the award onto. I really really really like waaaaaay too many blogs. So I'm gonna feel really bad for leaving people out, but here's my go at it:

1) Igloo of the Uncanny! has great reviews of tons of horror films. Also, you have to love the title.

2) Crom! definitely makes the list. Won me over so fast with posting the cartoons. Seriously, that opening theme song is so epic. Can you imagine hearing that when you're a kid? Part of the song is a dude screaming as he's being thrown and then you hear-

CONAN! THE MIGHTIEST WARRIOR EVER!!!

http://ultimateconanfan.blogspot.com/2009/01/conan-adventurer-episode-1.html

3) The Nerdy Bird over at Has Boobs, Reads Comics was one of the first blogs I regularly checked. She has great updates, reviews and an awesome sense of humor to go with it all.

4) Living Between Wednesdays. Total props for the Captain Cold Halloween costume. Lots of great reviews and great humor.

5) Valerie D'Orazio's Occasional Superheroine is also one of the first blogs I really followed. What I really appreciate about Valerie is that she calls it like she sees it and sticks to her guns. From her posts, she obviously has to put up with a lot of people who really don't like that aspect of her blog, to the point that she had to worry about her own safety. That shit drives me crazy. I really appreciate her opinions and the fact that she has additional perspective on the comic book industry that you might not find on your average comic blog.

So yah. That's pretty much my list. Lots of others I left off, but feelin' pretty good about this selection.

I did this entire post while listening to Edith Piaf & Nina Simone. Tonight was a good night.

Back to the drawing board....

2009-02-11T00:38:00.000-08:00

So I was going to start construction on the Orbital Space Station of Doom this year, but my tax returns weren't all that great so scratch that.

I didn't get any of the death rays, freeze rays, or whatever the hell rays I wanted for Christmas either. No giant robot scorpion with a flamethrower for a tail either, so now I know Santa is a fake for sure.

And I only got all the stop signs out of California before I had to abandon that campaign, and I don't think anyone really noticed anyway.

No giant mutant ants yet, no crystal skull of infinite power, no megaton doomsday device.

This is a sad time for evil.

But one man will always make me remember that no matter what, you can't give up on evil.

It doesn't matter if you plan to conquer the universe with Anti-life or just want to ruin someones day. Sometimes, you totally just have to slap a calculator on your chest for the sake of evil and go forward regardless of how ridiculous others may think you look.

Be it giant stilt legs, a giant eyeball helmet, or you're really really really French and like to kick people. FOLLOW THAT DREAM.

How to murder an industry

2009-02-06T09:42:00.000-08:00

I've already kinda ranted about this before, but it seems like something worth ranting about considering it's becoming more relevant every week.

Ringing up customers the past few days and ouch, those $3.99 books from Marvel are just killing everybody. If you were a more of a DC person, you only had one to deal with one FC: Legion of 3 Worlds. Hell, you even got a $1.00 book. For Marvel people though, only 6 or 7 of the normal titles were $2.99 while there were over 14 at $3.99.

So now more than ever, I feel like there are some oddball marketing shenanigans going on. Seriously, it's not that complicated. Marvel, you are trying to hook people into new titles such as:
Agents of Atlas
Secret Warriors
Black Panther relaunch
X-Men Bishop: A Random Waste of Your Time and Dollar
and whatever the hell else came out this week.

But you are charging people up the wazoo.

Now look over at DC. The Mighty, By Tomasi and Snejbjerg, is a brand new title. And look it's just $2.99! Sadly, now these days I have to consider $2.99 as 'just $2.99!'. But you get the idea. Any friggin idiot can get the idea. I sold out of Secret Warriors and Agents of Atlas, but honestly we didn't order super high shelf numbers because we have no confidence these days without strong pre-orders. I ordered relatively high for the Mighty considering it has no relation to any DC mainstream project, but I did that because I like Tomasi and actually did have confidence I could push them. Plus, $2.99. If I lose out, it's not as hard as say any of the $3.99 books we have to swallow.

So the question is if I can see this, and really, I'm not all too bright sometimes, why is it still happening? Is there some additional cost to the publisher I am missing? Is someone just not paying attention? Is it just greed?

The talks I've had with other employees keep on leading me to the idea that maybe, just maybe, Marvel is purposely trying to murder the single issue market. And I think I can understand the why. Many people are saying that online comics will be the future, and if it's popular enough it will just be printed as a TPB. That way, they can get into the bookstores as well. And if you look at the pricing practices going on in HCs and TPBs, I can understand that could be highly lucrative. Seriously, some of these Marvel HCs coming out are $25 for 4 friggin issues. DC is also guilty of this. Only people who buy just from bookstores might make the mistake of thinking that's a good deal. If they don't know the industry to any degree and don't even shop around to compare prices, then it's as simple as just putting something under there nose and chargin' them anything you want.

I don't want to see single issues go away. Lots of people don't. I think it's a weak argument that they are similar to newspaper in that you can just go online or watch tv for the news. Yah, but you rarely go back and reread or collect a newspaper. To attempt to do away with single issues is kind of a crime to me. I'm not that much of a collector any more, but there are so many readers who are. Disregarding that aspect, I just like to be able to grab a single issue and hold it. My eyes can't take a computer screen for the amount of time I might want to read a pile of comics. And I hate the idea of reading a comic on a small thing like an Iphone or whatever. I don't even have a cellphone dudes. I'm almost 27 and I feel like and old grouch. But seriously, someone tried to show me what that would be like and I hated it.

Then look at the economic situation. Here in Seattle, it's really really really starting to hurt. Just thinking about how many Microsoft employees are losing their jobs makes me nervous. Hell, bus fare went up this month and I'm seriously having to prioritize my budget due to that alone. That's like $15 a month minimum that now has to be pulled back from, guess what, probably comics. A hefty amount of customers are already trimming the fat from their subscriptions. But people want to buy comics. They want an escape. The industry needs to give them an excuse to do it. Oh hey, this book is only $2.50? Hell yeah, I can reason that over this $3.99 super glossy but supershort comic.

What I would like to see is someone in the industry really try to take advantage of this price swing. Find a way to cut your costs, and publish at only $2.50 or less. But it needs to be someone big. It can't just be like Radical or Boom!. And sorry IDW, unless you guys shape up you are going to be feeling the crunch. $3.99 across the board? Are you serious?

To make an actual impression and to create a trend, it has to be someone with a substantial presence. Dark Horse, Image, and DC are really the only companies I can see making this work. Top Cow gave it a try sorta by announcing it will not go past $2.99. And I'm sorry, I don't mean to come down on them, but really. You have Darkness and Witchblade. That is sadly not the chunk of the industry sales pie chart I am worrying about.

Take into account the current restrictions Diamond has placed on sales:
http://www.newsarama.com/comics/010919-Diamond-Thresholds.html
http://www.newsarama.com/comics/010921-Schanes-Diamond.html

Already, creators are feeling the crunch.
http://www.tcj.com/messboard/viewtopic.php?t=5829

Now take into account that actual competition is working on the distribution scene, slowly but it's there:
http://www.newsarama.com/comics/010926-Haven-Distribution.html

Now is the time. A publisher has to step up, and really push things in a new economic direction. It will be a risk. It will take time. But if nothing happens to change the current pace, I am really actually afraid for comics as a whole.

Then again, I'm just some guy managing a comic store. There's a whole crapload of stuff I most likely am not taking into account. And if anyone can pass along any info to educate me, that would be great. But from the ground level, it really feels like guerrilla warfare just to get comics into the hands of people who just want to enjoy them. Working behind enemy lines with little to no help here, guys. DON'T CUT OFF THE SUPPLY LINE.

Great Moments In Comic Book History

2009-02-04T00:56:00.000-08:00

Deadpool Rochambeaus Captain America

Ah Joe Kelly. Only you could have pulled that off.

Thunder on the Tundra

2009-02-03T16:57:00.000-08:00

You know what's awesome?

Friggin' Thor. Hey, I know it's bad. But I think that might just be why I like it actually. You can tell these guys love what they are doing. This is like the essence of fun to me. Seriously, one of the songs is called 'Throwing Cars At People On Coke With Thor'. If you can't get into that, you just might not have a soul my friend.

Match that with memorable lyrics such as 'I anger at my middle name' and 'War is Thor and Thor is War', and well, I rest my case. This is pure epic theatrical Metal right here. If you are a fan of Dethklok, you probably can get into this.

You can listen to samples here:

http://www.spiralfrog.com/download/album/97116037/Triumphant

More info on Thor

http://usa.scratchrecords.com/pages.cfm?ID=177

And for the sake of awesomeness, here are the lyrics to the actual song Trumphant:

Across the Frozen tundra

Across the seven seas

Can You Hear, Can You Hear The Thunder Rising in the east

Into the frozen wasteland

One Man stands tall

Hear the cries of Glory As He slays them All!

Chorus:

The Call Of The Triumphant

The sound of Steel On Steel

The Marching Of The Warrior

Into The Battle Field (Repeat)

See The Chariots Blazing Across the Northern Sky

Hear the tunes of Glory

Are You prepared to die

The Mighty Sound Of Thunder

The steel across your Back

The Time of THOR is coming prepare for ATTACK!

\m/ (>_<) \m/

Huh

2009-01-29T11:17:00.000-08:00

Apparently more people would prefer tacos every Thursday over not being beaten up by Batman

Only Batman can conserve time and effort by bitchslapping two people at once. And fight crime.

Edit: I was entering the labels after the fact here and thought of an awesome new band name: Bitchslap Taco. And this is why I love comics. And tacos.

Duck Season

2009-01-27T17:42:00.000-08:00

I always check out Chris Haley's blog, http://hiptoday.blogspot.com/, but I tend to forget to check his comic strips cause I have a goldfish memory span. Which sucks, cause they are always pretty damn funny. But this. This made me lol.So now you have to go check it out too.

http://www.letsbefriendsagain.com/

To That Dude I Hate: God, I Hate You So Much

2009-01-22T00:56:00.000-08:00

So he comes in again. Picks up some books from his subscription, grabs a few more from the shelf.

Comes to me to cash out. I ring it all up, give him his discount and subtotal. Oh he doesn't have enough.

Has me void a book out. Kind of a pain, cause the system doesn't take into account discount & tax on a void, so I gotta work the math but whatever.

.....still not enough, need to take another one out. Bah. Couldn't.....couldn't just add it up ahead of time, could you?

He took like the only good books out, but whatever. Hands me some cash. And then he DUMPS A CRAPLOAD OF PENNIES IN FRONT OF ME AND TELLS ME TO TAKE WHATEVER I NEED

I SHALL CREATE A TIME MACHINE JUST SO I CAN KICK YOUR FATHER IN THE NARDS

It's not that hard, Marvel, really

2009-01-20T16:45:00.000-08:00

So I'm going over the invoice for tomorrow's shipment of new comics. And I see that we are being given an amount of free overship copies of Dr. Doom & The Masters of Evil that is equal to our initial order. What this means is that we don't pay for them unless we can't sell them, if we can't then we just send this back. It seems fairly random as to what is chosen for this type of program sometimes.

You....you couldn't have done that to the Obama issue of Spider-Man? Really?

I mean, Dr. Doom & The Masters is
A) Going to be better that Amazing Spider-Man hands down
B) Something I'm gonna push hard in the store
and C) TOTALLY STARS DR. DOOM

But....realistically.....WHAT THE HELL DAMN GUY?!?!?

Pictures that make me happy

2009-01-20T03:16:00.001-08:00

DRACULA.

DOOM.

WE'RE ON YUR MOON, STEALIN' YUR APOLLO LANDIN'

Curse you Abnett & Lanning, I didn't want to like the Authority again

Grundy vs Bizarro: FIGHT

The only way this could be more awesome is if it turns out to be a battle of wits. And then I will love you forever, Scott Kolins.

Huh

2009-01-20T01:47:00.000-08:00

I....never ever thought they would have collected that

SUPERMAN: ENDING BATTLE TP

Written by Geoff Johns, Joe Casey, Mark Schultz and Joe Kelly

Art by Pascual Ferry, Duncan Rouleau and others Cover by Carlos Pacheco & Jesus Merino

When the villainous Manchester Black uncovers Clark Kent’s secret identity, it sets in motion one of the hardest days in Superman’s life. Collects stories from SUPERMAN #185-186, ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #608-609, SUPERMAN: THE MAN OF STEEL #130-131 and ACTION COMICS #795-796. Advance-solicited; on sale May 20 • 192 pg, FC, $14.99 US

I actually liked this story a lot when it came out. I need to reread it again cause it's been so long. I guess since it's Johns they decided to print it? Maybe?

DC marketing, you confuse me.

hh

2009-01-17T09:55:00.000-08:00

SPOILER ALERT: FINAL CRISIS #6

So, lots and lots of people are complaining about the fate of Batman in the past issue of Final Crisis. For those who will not read it and haven't heard about it, Batman pretty overcomes the worst possible mental torture (in another book but chronologically before this). He then proceeds to find Darkseid, THE GOD OF EVIL WHOSE VERY PRESENCE CORRUPTS REALITY, basically tells him off, and uses a gun with a poison god bullet to save the world and countless lives.

My stance? Fantastic. I am not a fan of everything Grant Morrison writes. But I am a fan of his past few years of DC work, because they show a passion and respect for the work before him, especially Jack Kirby's. And if you respect the Kirby, then my respect for you increases ten fold.

I take note that a lot of people who complain about Final Crisis #6 are the same people who 1) usually don't enjoy DC from the past couple years, 2) like to bring up the darker and grimmer style that is present in DC titles, and 3) really really don't like gun bit, and 4) find it all boring.

First off, this comment from reader The League on the Occasional Superheroine site sums up a lot of what I feel and in a much more concise way than I could muster:

"What I don't get, in this particular case, is why anyone is biting on the cliff-hanger ending to an issue of a comic where we don't know what will happen by the conclusion of issue 7. Let alone calling the scene you're talking about "disgusting".

I find treating any single issue as if its the FINAL issue of DC Comics, Batman comics, etc... when you're past the age of 22 or so, kind of mind-boggling. Batman died in the last volume of JLA at least twice, with at least one of those deaths penned by Grant Morrison (Rock of Ages and the Obsidian Age).

And, frankly, I really don't see how this is any more desperate than killing off Cap.

Death and destruction are sort of what the protagonists of the DCU are there to rail against. Without villains who are death-dealing and destructive, it doesn't make much sense to have heroes who want to stop them. Otherwise, one winds up with books in which characters slug it out for no discernible purpose.

I'm no fan of the grisly imagery that recently appeared in Teen Titans, but I also don't mind villains who can begin to reflect the sorts of atrocities we know are possible and which are A-O.K. in every other medium.

And if we want to look at the history, didn't DC have a storyline 20-odd years ago where they killed an infinite number of universes?

Some may not like the story, and that's fine. But to claim to know someone would only be enjoying Final Crisis because they mindlessly consume whatever DC puts out is more than a tad disingenuous. The exact same suppositions could be made that Marvel readers will mindlessly buy anything, no matter how trite (see: Secret Invasion).

Further, it doesn't begin to describe what's happening in other books, such as JSA, JLA, the Superman titles, etc...

If your problem is truly violence in comics, then I would expect a regular complaint department vis-a-vis Marvel's line of Wolverine and Punisher comics. I'd expect a full complaint regarding the recent Joker book by Azzarello, the inhuman behavior witnessed in The Killing Joke, and a denunciation of Nova pulling apart Annihulus's innards.

There is an entire final chapter to this story, and then a universe of comics coming afterward for an unknown number of years.The idea that Bruce Wayne is "dead" is somewhat ridiculous, but I do find it to be an interesting "

Well said. Also, Darkseid used the Omega Sanction, which as noted by many already online is not an actually death ray. "Back in Seven Soldiers: Mister Miracle, Morrison redefined the classic “Omega Effect” as the Omega Sanction, a sort of dimension where you live an endless number of lives, over and over again, reincarnating every time, never able to rejoin with the Source. Mister Miracle escaped from that, so it’s not impossible that Batman could either."

http://www.funnybookbabylon.com/2009/01/14/final-crisis-6-how-to-murder-the-earth/

In my personal view, I generally like my superhero comics a bit lighter with a sense of humor and heroism. On the flip side of that , I really really love it when Jack Bauer kills the hell out of people. Violence has a place. You can overdo it, you can underdo it, you can tell a fantastic story utilizing violence, and you can tell a piece of crap story with violence. The Blob cannibalizing the Wasp? Crap. Nova pulling Annhilus inside out in a giant battle to save the universe? FRIGGIN' AWESOME. Sometimes it's just good storytelling. Sometimes, it's if the violence actually has a reasoning for existing. I find the majority of Mark Millar's violence (Kick Ass) unnecessary and gratuitous. Half the time it makes no sense, like in his current Wolverine run. Parts of that last issue reaaaaally sucked, but they existed so we could see Wolverine butcher the X-Men. Of course, this is comics so maybe I'm being too picky about things making no sense.

I think I have a whole separate post to get into if I want to delve into the darker aspects of the superhero world and each companies hand in this trend.

But, I do want to talk about the gun thing here. Seriously, dudes. I love the fact that Batman can do what he does without relying on guns. Batman doesn't go around killing people, and it makes sense that guns are something he just straight up hates. That being said, BATMAN KNOWS WHEN TO MAN THE FUCK UP. Best case example, this one time Batman has a case involving that douchebag Gunhawk. By the end of it, Batman was too far away to prevent Gunhawk from killing someone. So Batman used a sniper rifle to make an IMPOSSIBLE shot to disarm Gunhawk. And after that, he threw the rifle into the depths of the Batcave. Which, man, that place has got to be full of shit. There's a dead alien down there and who knows what else. But back to point. Batman doesn't kill the Joker every chance he gets because the Joker, for as much a threat as he is, WILL NEVER ENSLAVE THE WORLD INTO A HELLISH NIGHTMARE STATE OF DOOM.*

And then finally. Boring? awritjiaeogueasgusejgkseg

WHAT THE HELL DAMN GUY?!!?!?

TAWKY TAWNEY JUST HAD A FIGHT TO THE DEATH WITH KALIBAK.

*EDIT: Right, ok, except for that one time in Emperor Joker. It was a a slightly happier type of hellish nightmare state of doom though. Except for Batman. It just straight up sucked for him.

To be fair to Marvel

2009-01-16T09:47:00.000-08:00

From Diamond Comics:

"In case you’ve been in a coma or hiding in a cave, this week’s long-anticipated release of Amazing Spider-Man #583 captivated consumers – selling through all versions of its first printing in record time "

I wonder....I wonder if this is because NOBODY HAD ANY. Bah. General feeling from other stores that I picked up on was that hey, economy sucks, we don't remember there being a back up story just a cover, so really we are sorry but c'mon. And I have to say we were in the same boat.

In the interest of fairness, this was the actual Diamond Daily notification:

"Retailers that exceed their orders for Amazing Spider-Man #575 that were placed by its FOC of October 9 with their orders for the regular Amazing Spider-Man #583 by its FOC of December 18 will qualify to order as many of the Obama Variant as they wish while supplies last.........Plus, if this main story weren’t enough of a draw, #583 will also feature a backup that sees Spider-Man meet President-Elect Obama. "

Diamond did give us a heads up. They did inform us of the back up story. It was only mentioned on the online update, so if you don't check that then it was easy to miss. I try my best, but dude. I manage a friggin' store. I got enough stuff to do. Did I screw up personally? Yeah. Sorry. But really, DC has a rep who calls me to let me know of important things. Dark Horse has a rep that does the same. It sure would be nice to have a little help from Marvel, considering retailer confidence is fairly low.

Both major companies have their problems when it comes to promotion and marketing. On the flip side of that if other comic book store managers are anything like me in their everyday experience then they are exausted, frustrated, and usually a little on edge. It's not ideal, but I believe that's what most managers are like for any type of retail. So this means that even if the retailer gets the word out, there is still room for human error. So what does this result in? For the publishers and retailers, a whole lot of missed opportunities. For the consumers? A lot of missed comics. And that just straight up sucks for everybody.

As a retailer, I have to say that the best company in the market right now that actually really tries to help retailers out would be Dark Horse. I have an assload of reasons, but here's a bunch in a nice easy list format:
-Weekly calls from a representative
-Accessible retailer website and weekly newsletters
-Pretty much all their HCs & TPBs are packed with protective slips between each volume to protect against scuffing damages, a very common problem that happens when items are shipped from Diamond.
-Say what you will about licenced properties, Star Wars, Aliens, Indian Jones, Buffy: they bring the customers in.
-Seriously, Buffy? Thank you. Perhaps the greatest new individual title to bring in new readers and new customers that continue to come back. I just signed up another new subscription customer last night just because of Buffy.
-And y'know, they publish the Goon.

And of the main two? Marvel or DC?
All I can say is that in the past year or two, Marvel has contributed the following to my downward spiral towards retail insanity:
-Death of Captain America
-Obama/Spidey
-Avengers Elektra/Skrull hype
-Dark Reign solicitations (or absence of any actual useful info)
-Brand New Day and the huuuuge sales drop off
-The endless amount of Wolverine one-shots
-To be fair, items that shipped late are returnable. But I sell out of Millar Wolverine, so it's moot. Spider-Man is always on time, damn them.....I mean, gratz! >_>

DC causes of insanity:
-Loss of sales from Countdown (note:certain copies were returnable)
-Loss of sales from Trinity (note: ditto)
-Good job having your core titles (Action, Batman) running late. BUT....we still sold fairly well
-Good job with the All-Stars always being late. BUT.....we sold virtually all of them regardless.
-RIP & Final Crisis, not really easy to get into. But......we still sell a crapload of them. And hey, last issue of Final Crisis was returnable because it was late......
-....I am actually trying to think of some, I am not just biased.

Bottom line. Retail stores need money to survive. Sucks but true. And if I had to weigh the the two out, Marvel has been the most detrimental. Now, you really do have to take regional differences into account though. I sell more Buffy and Green Lantern than I do X-Men. Anything Garth Ennis touches is always stronger than any 2nd tier DC title, and often times stronger than a core title. And I saw the report that basically every month Wonder Woman bleeds readers, but I order a steady quantity every month. And we are by no means a huge store. We don't have more than one location. But we have good traffic and a strong subscription customer base.

So yeah. That pretty much ends that rant. Marvel gave a heads up, and they don't deserve the level of finger pointing they are getting for this particular internet bitch fest. Well, they kinda do, but for other reasons. You get what I mean.

Huh, I ran the spell check and not a single mistake. Something....something is wrong.

Edit: As of this point, about 25 pre-orders on the 2nd print of Obama/Spidey. And I have explained the entire publishing scenario far too many times today.

Again with the Obama

2009-01-13T17:02:00.001-08:00

I've taken about a dozen or so phone calls myself about Obama/Spidey this past week, but employee Jon said he had about 20-30 the past 2 days.

I can't really sum it up any better than Mike Sterling did here
http://www.progressiveruin.com/2009_01_11_archive.html#3385674185661034783

I will add that I took a phone call today from a woman asking about the variant cover. I told her we didn't qualify for it and started to explain the difference between the variant and the normal cover because hey, a lot of people don't know when they ask. She told me she knew, so cool I get to skip that whole part of the usual conversation. She then asked in an accusatory tone "So you guys been holding them for people ahead of time?"

Well.....that's what subscriptions are for. I mean, we are holding onto them in advance. But. Ah screw it >_<

And now I'll bet you we are the 'shifty' store.

I was actually thinking there would have been more requests because hey, Seattle. I'm glad though that I don't have to explain to tons of people why we won't have enough of the 1st printing.

Edit: Heh, Obamageddon
http://www.agreeablecomics.com/therack/?p=524

That hair. That mustache. That shirt.

2009-01-11T22:26:00.001-08:00

I can come to only one conclusion: obviously, I have been doing everything wrong.

Votes are in for anarchy

2009-01-11T13:22:00.000-08:00

So it looks like the next evil plot will have me creating a mighty tank made entirely of coconuts and fitted with a freeze ray. With said coconut tank of doom I will steal all the stop signs in the world on my way to a building that I choose by zooming onto a random spot on googlemaps and then I shall launch that unfortunate building into outer space. I really hope it ends up being Tom Cruise's house.

For this task, I shall require an entire bottle of Jameson. Nothing more, nothing less.

IT BEGINS

Jim, if you would please?

2009-01-09T02:18:00.000-08:00

So, one of my favorite comics is the Thor Ragnarok story by Michael Avon Oeming & Andrea Divito. It's the perfect blend of the Kirby/Simonson history and the actual Norse mythology of the final days of Asgard. The story is epic practically on every page, and Divito's art is so friggin' epic it's beyond words at times. Unless the words are "OH SNAP". So I see in the order forms a new over sized HC will be available soon. Sweet! That can only be awesome on top of awesome! That's gonna.....look........wtf?

They merged it with the other Disassembled bullcrap?

"Collecting Thor issues #80 to 85, Iron Man #84 to 89, Captain America & The Falcon #5 to 7 and Captain America #29 to 32, written by Mike Avon Oeming, Mark Ricketts, John Jackson Miller, Robert Kirkman and Priest, pencilled By Andrea Divito, Tony Harris, Scott Kolins, Jorge Lucas, Scot Eaton and Joe Bennett features a cover by Steve Epting."

BAH!!!!!!!!

Ok, just a quick remembrance of all those other stories:

-The Iron Man was a waste of time

-The Captain America was Kirkman, which should make it better, but it was very forgettable.

-The Captain America & Falcon was, well, Captain America & Falcon. It wasn't bad, and I love Priest's writing, but I don't think there was a need to really, y'know, ever see this again.

And they want $50

Jim?

A SINGLE OVER SIZED HC FOR THE ONE GOOD STORY DURING THAT WHOLE DISASSEMBLED MESS. $24.99. IS THAT SO HARD?!?!!?!?

I shit you not, I could sell 20 copies easy right off the bat. A $50 book full of crap? Not so much.

Random things that would make me scream like a little girl

2009-01-09T02:04:00.001-08:00

Imagine waking up to one of those on your wall? That's a Lovecraftian wake up call of doom right there.

Random quote with absolutely no context

2009-01-07T01:50:00.001-08:00

"Bryan Adams is a bear that moos."

This

Plus this
Equals this
It almost makes sense if you were there.

Read this book or suffer my wrath

2009-01-04T16:37:00.000-08:00

Last week we received a press packet from a new publisher that included a copy of their first major publication, the Charlatan: Preludes GN. The packet included a publishers note stating that the long term goal of this new venture was to create solid and fun sci-fi/superhero stories that could appeal to all ages of readers. Essentially, a PG-13 book that doesn't dumb things down but doesn't feature buckets of blood and gore. I love you Fear Agent, but damn, I ain't passing you along to a 10 year old. So to sum it up in a horribly simplistic way, Charlatan is to the sci-fi/superero genre as Bone is to the fantasy genre: a completely accessible, well done, and thoroughly enjoyable book that you can pass on to pretty much everyone.

I can appreciate this for a number of reasons. First off, someone has been needing to do this for a long long time. DC & Marvel have their all ages titles, but they don't really make it a point to push it on the larger markets. And even then, they follow a very episodic formula that almost reduces them in appeal (at least to older audiences I believe). Don't get me wrong, I still pretty much stand by what I always say and that this stuff is much better than like 90% of main stream titles. Tiny Titans and Marvel Adventures: Avengers are some of the best things being published today. But actually grabbing hold of new readers is tricky, and unfortunately from the trends I see at our store not too many teen boys are going to come in running for Tiny Titans. And not too many girls either because they just don't know it's out there.

But then you have something like Bone which fills a needed niche so perfectly. Accessible to readers regardless of age? Check. A solid fantasy epic? Check. Great story and art? Check. Stupid stupid rat creatures? Check. One of the best of the few actual fantasy titles available on the direct market? Check. And Bone is one of the most successful all ages titles available today.

So, it's about time someone tried to attempt something similar for the sci-fi/superhero set again.

Charlatan attempts to tackle this gap in the market by offering a new interesting story with a great singular purpose behind the entire publishing venture: lets have some fun and try to do a few new things with superheroes. And that's exactly what this first volume offers. Charlatan focuses on the story of Lucy Halford, who is the first human to ever be chosen as the defender of the universe. The problem is, she is 4 years old. Lucy's father steps up, refusing to surrender his daughter to the aliens who will train her for a life of hardship and an inevitable violent death. And as they are confronted with new and horrible threats, Lucy's father and mother have to ask themselves if they are willing to sacrifice the one thing in the universe that means the most of them in order to save the universe. Remember when Marvel comics consistently used to have a moral and ethical center to the conflicts?

Lawson's scripting is tight and he doesn't waste time nor does he throw too much at you all at once. He has a clear idea where he is going and builds a fun ride by introducing a number of sub-plots that will slowly pay off. Gouveia's art is clean and the man knows how to lay out a page. Something so many people out there don't know how to do (I'M LOOKING AT YOU, BENITIZ). He's not particularly flashy, but I don't think that's something I would have wanted to see. He does not detract from the story, he enhances it. I look forward to seeing him develop more and maybe refine his style, but as a draftsman I believe he's great. At no point did I have trouble trying to figure out what was going on (YOU'RE ON THE LIST BACHALO!).

So yeah. I want to support the hell out of this and I wish the best of luck to Jen & Gil Lawson, the husband and wife team opperating Generaljinjur. They have a a definite purpose to their publishing, and it's one I can get behind.

Now, see if you can find a way to fit in an ape and we are golden.

http://generaljinjur.com/

Cause of Death: Shot by Jack Bauer

2009-01-04T02:06:00.000-08:00

I think we need a drinking game where you take a shot every time someone close to Jack Bauer dies. Double shots if he guns them down himself.

Pretty sure you probably end up with alcohol poisoning just by watching the first few episodes of season 5.

Awesome stuff the store picked up

2009-01-04T01:46:00.000-08:00

And I can afford maybe 2 of them. CURSES.

Because apparently the way to a woman's heart is with the bagpipes

2009-01-02T00:19:00.000-08:00

And she totally gives him the come-hither look.

To that dude I hate: I HATE YOU

2008-12-30T00:26:00.000-08:00

You just had to linger around and bug me over the course of nearly two hours while we processed our late shipment from last week because YOU HAD to have your copies of Brave & The Bold and Superman/Supergirl. AND THAT WAS ALL YOU BOUGHT.

MY HATRED FOR YOU BURNS LIKE A NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST

Henchmen Tryouts

2008-12-29T21:55:00.000-08:00

Like any good villain, I figure it's about time I actually hired me a minion. Someone who can communicate my displeasure with the sheer stupidity that hits me every day with such a blunt force trauma that it's amazing I'm still alive. Someone I can count on. Someone I can trust. So it is with great pleasure and evil that I introduce:

THE WTF-IS-THIS-SHIT GORILLA

otherwise known as Jim.

The rest of you have a long way to go if you hope to match his standing in the ranks of the evil empire. But if you do so desire, feel free to send a resume and list of evil references and we can see about getting you in.

Lost & Found: Blacksad

2008-12-29T00:18:00.000-08:00

Blacksad is one of those books that I really really really wish will be reprinted in english soon, because more people in the states need to experience it. And I say experience because once you finish reading it you should come to one realization: this is how good comics are done.

Scratch that. This is how beautifully awesome comics are done and this should be considered a zenith in comic book production.

Written by Juan Diaz Canales with beautiful art by Juanjo Guardino, Blacksad is a series of crime noir stories starring anthropomorphic animals. In general I'm not drawn into a series just because it utilizes anthropomorphic animals as a stylistic choice. I know many people actually are and this may enchance your desire to read it, and it may also turn you off from it. The thing about Blacksad is that it truly is a unique approach that enchances the story. Gardino's ability to bring out a character's true personality using a specific species and then beautifully emoting them is nothing short of fantastic.

If you like crime noir stories, this is for you. As far as modern crime noir comics go, you can't really find many people doing it on this level besides Ed Brubaker & Sean Phillips. If you like humour and great characterization, this is for you. If you like beautifully painted artwork, you need to own this. I can read this book and then just look at it again and again to just take in the art. Very cinematic, very detailed, and very thoughtful. The only other current artists in the industry that can truly captivate me with their facial expressions include:

-Carla Speed McNeil

-Steve Dillon

-Kevin Maguire

-John Cassaday

-Darick Robertson

And I would have to put Guardino pretty far up there. Actually, I don't know if I put him above McNeil, she's friggin' awesome. Hmm, I'm forgetting some people too. Damn yeah, Eric Powell, for sure. Screw it, ya get the point though. Being able to strike emotional cords through facial features is a key skill many comic book artists never peg down, and Guardino nails it.

Now the crap news. Apparently the english translations published through Ibooks a few years back are going for very large amounts of money. Actually, I'm going to look right now andSWEET BABEH JESUS.........vol 1 goes for $74 used on Amazon o.0

It's a 54pg soft cover book so, uh......yeah, that may keep people from really bothering >_<

And this is why I need to be in charge of shit. Time to reprint these suckers and start expanding everyones minds. Because I kid you not, if I didn't have my copies I would probably save the money up and pay that insane price. And as broke as I may be, I just can't think about selling these. So if you ever have the chance and you just magically come upon some of these, for the love of all that is good in life do yourself a favor and pick them up.

http://blacksad-gallery.blogspot.com/

http://www.blacksadmania.com/

A sad Christmas

2008-12-26T11:13:00.001-08:00

It was kind of a sucky one in the first place, and then the last thing I saw before going to bed was news of Eartha Kitt's passing. And really, that's all sorts of depressing.

Here's to hoping for a better year.

Primate(s) of the Moment

2008-12-24T01:08:00.000-08:00

Let it not be said I am completely without the holiday spirit.

And now I resume plotting Santa's trajectory course after the missiles hit.

What I Want For Christmas pt5

2008-12-23T03:02:00.001-08:00

MwehehehehHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Fwugahabuh

2008-12-23T01:06:00.000-08:00

Hurm not much posting as of late, sorry. Between work, snow, this cold, and some other crap, just no time for updating.

I make up for it with this.

Santa don't mess around