The Mercury Men

Trailer for a web series. Looks like a lot of fun.

Primate of the Moment: Mojo Jojo

Cuuuuuurses

Today's Declaration of Purpose

I can't remember where I found this online. Pretty sure it's Bernie Wrightson though. Mostly sure.
EDIT: Mostly sure=not right at all. General consensus is that art is actually by Val Mayerik. Thx Skip, Booksteve, & Sleestak!

Comic Shop Etiquette War Journal: Just Don't Be Creepy for F's Sake

Ideally you wouldn't have to keep an eye on such a thing, but it can sneak up in your store from time to time. Giving advice to customers seems kind of pointless since if anyone is doing anything creepy they are most likely not the kind of person to take any advice. So in general, this is more for retailers.

RETAILERS:

-Sometimes you end up with an employee that just doesn't realize that coming onto women (especially in our setting) isn't a great thing to do. First of all, many female customers don't go comic shopping just so they can deal with advances. Second, you're in a comic shop. C'mon. Try to help out the general image here.

I've worked with one gentleman who continuously made advances all the time, and would drop whatever he did just to help a female customer out. One time, we had to evacuate the building because of a gas leak. I went to the upper apartments to get everyone out. While we were all waiting on the streets for the City workers to deal with the problem, one of the female tenants came to talk to me and thank me for going to get them. Fellow coworker literally inserted himself between the woman and myself and actually said something along the lines of, "I'm the one who told him to clear the building." That was the level we were dealing with.

Another co-worker made it a habit to yell out to women passing buy to come in and buy comics. Not being a manager at the time, I still always had to reign him in and have 'the talk'. Pretty sure I was 10 years his junior at the time.

None of this is acceptable by any stretch, and after dealing with numerous people like this it becomes obvious that they don't actually comprehend this on a lot of levels. So you either have to reign them in hard or get them out of the store period.

-Having an adult section pretty much makes you a magnet for creepiness. This is where you have to decide if the potential profit is worth the risk, but after working in a store that used to have an adult section for over 5 years I would say it really isn't. I would tell you some stories to prove the point, but really. You don't want to hear them. Really.

-You do want your store to have a base line of cleanliness. Just try to avoid claustrophobic tight spaces, unnecessary darkness, and dangerous to maneuver designs.

CUSTOMERS:

As I said, this isn't something that non-retailers will be too interested in. This is pretty much a list of red flags retailers need to watch out for, and if you're a customer who does this subconsciously well then......stop please.

-Lingering around, obviously not buying anything. Sometimes harmless, but really needs to be watched.

-Breathing hard at inappropriate times. Had this one guy going around acting normal for a bit, was up front just trying to chat my ear off, and when a father and child stepped up to the counter he started to breath real hard. It goes without saying his ass was kicked out at lightening speed.

-Walking in with your hands covered in blood. Yeah.

-Dragging your girlfriend in when she looks like she did the last supply of your crack.

-Customer smells like rotten bologna.

-Customer comes in with open alcohol. Illegal, and happened twice just last week.

-Conspiracy nuts coming in to show you how the government is trying to screw us all over.

-Creepy little guys coming in to ask if they can paint you in the nude (not to me, but to an old boss).

-Guy comes in and gives female employee Beef Jerkey because he has a crush on her.

-Do not talk about the comic characters as if they are real

-For God's sake, try to not always sound like a fanboy with no sense of proper social interaction. I've had new non-comicy customers walk in and then someone goes in the most horrible little nerd rant that's usually insulting to A) Women, B), Parents, or C) HUMANS IN GENERAL.

I'm probably leaving a crap ton out, but you get the idea.

Kind of mean, but kind of awesome in its meanness

I was working through the solicitations for the monthly orders, and I was reading the GI Joe stuff in the IDW section. This last note for G.I Joe Movie: Snake Eyes #1 caught my attention:

"And check out this cover-it's got red foil! Totally awesome!"

It's not just me, right? That kind of draws attention to itself, but in a snide kind of way right?

"Look at this you little fanboy! It's a total throwback to the '90's, you insipid little monkey! Friggin' rad, huh! HUH?!?!"

Maybe I just read too much into these things....

But honestly, as much as I think it sounds a little condescending, I kind of want to give credit for whoever wrote that. Mostly because that's exactly how I feel when I see most variant cover solicitations.

It's written by Ray Park, so you know.......yay?

Sorry, I don't mean to come off snide myself, I enjoy GI Joe & Snake Eyes a lot actually. I just had to snicker when I read that line in the catalog.

Post Wednesday Musings

Ideally it would be great to do these say on Wednesday night, but screw it. After an 11 hour shift I don't want to look at a comic when I get home.

Anywho, here are some random thoughts for the week

-So I know this isn't strange and usually the norm actually, but did you realize Wolverine was in over 7 different titles this week?

Wolverine 1st Class

Wolverine Origins

Dark Avengers

X-Force

Hulk

Dark Reign Elektra

Wolverine Magazine

I can't remember if he was in this week's issue of New Avengers or not, I stopped reading that weekly a while ago. I also didn't bother to look at Timestorm, although I bet he's there.

Now, Wolverine's son who is dressed as Wolverine was in at least Dark Wolverine, Ms Marvel, and Dark Avengers, so I'm going to count that crap. He was probably in Dark X-Men, but I didn't bother to look.

This is also disregarding that Logan is in at least 3 trades paperbacks this week.

-Batman & Robin by Morrison keeps on selling out, and this week's number were even bumped up from all previous orders. It's interesting what happens to sales for a book when Morrison shifts his storytelling into a more linear focus.

-One of these days I will collect all the variant covers in the world and set them ablaze in a majestic holofoil pyre. There were over 34 different variant covers this week. And that doesn't include the ones we probably didn't qualify to get.-I really really really really want that Chemo toy. Also, maybe I do have my finger on the pulse of awesome sometimes. I'm totally taking credit for it regardless. Pic via Clone's Paradise

-Darkness Pitt sounds like A) a scary porno or B) a proclamation that you will indeed be reading an unnecessary story? This might even be well written, but I just don;t have the interest in these characters to plop any kind of cash down for it. Also, I'm sorry Paul Jenkins but you lost me when you had Sally Floyd yell at Captain America for not having a Myspace page or not knowing who won American Idol. If you need to recover from that page, here is the appropriate rebuttal.

-Only 6 titles with the word Dark in them this week. I'm not sure if that means we're getting a break or not.

-You will find some very odd things when you do a Google search for 'Evil hats'

Darkman vs Megatron vs Hellboy

So here's a fun game to play, and you can do it a few different ways. This is my favorite grouping to use, but you can pretty much choose any combo of actors for it. My combo is Liam Neeson, Hugo Weaving, and Ron Perlman. Who of these three is the most kick ass?

Liam Neeson has been:

A Jedi

Aslan

Ras Al Ghul

Darkman

A crusader

Rob Roy

Sir Gawain

Hugo Weaving has been:

Megatron

Elrond

Agent Smith

V of V For Vendetta

A sheepdog

Ron Perlman has been:

Hellboy

Deathstroke the Terminator (Slade)

Killer Croc

Clayface

Orion of the New Gods

Vincent from Beauty & the Beast

The Abomination

The Fiery Blaze from the Tick

a vampire

Bane

Tony Stark

Conan

Lord Hood

Jax-Ur

a demon

The Sayer of the Law

The Hulk

Satan

If your going for sheer quantity and carrying the flag of geekery empowerment, then Perlman kinda wins hand down.

Megatron can pretty much step on everyone though. And even if you kill him, he comes back as Galvatron.

Aslan is pretty much Jesus, so that's kinda handy. Darkman is like a scientist and a master of disguise, so that's all sorts of awesome. So he's like super science lion Jesus with the force.

And a lazarus pit.

Of course then Perlman is Satan plus Hellboy plus Conan plus the Hulk plus Deathstroke the Terminator, so that's really hard to beat. His dad is Darkseid, the embodiment of all evil (also, Jack Palance/Richard Nixon). He might also be Smog in the new Hobbit movie, so damn man. Oh, plus he's a Kryptonian super criminal so your screwed under a yellow sun.

You can play the game by judging the awesomeness of each character in comparison to the others, or you can just for quantity. Or a combo judgement. You can go more points for obscurity, or just play it for important characters.

Other fun actors to use:

Mark Hamill

Christopher Lee

Ian McKellen

Jeffrey Combs

Tony Todd

Christopher Walken

I honestly don't think anyone beats Perlman for sheer representation of comic book characters. If you can find a person, then I really am curious.