Thursday, January 29, 2009

Huh


Apparently more people would prefer tacos every Thursday over not being beaten up by Batman

Only Batman can conserve time and effort by bitchslapping two people at once. And fight crime.

Edit: I was entering the labels after the fact here and thought of an awesome new band name: Bitchslap Taco. And this is why I love comics. And tacos.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Duck Season

I always check out Chris Haley's blog, http://hiptoday.blogspot.com/, but I tend to forget to check his comic strips cause I have a goldfish memory span. Which sucks, cause they are always pretty damn funny. But this. This made me lol.So now you have to go check it out too.
http://www.letsbefriendsagain.com/

Thursday, January 22, 2009

To That Dude I Hate: God, I Hate You So Much

So he comes in again. Picks up some books from his subscription, grabs a few more from the shelf.
Comes to me to cash out. I ring it all up, give him his discount and subtotal. Oh he doesn't have enough.

Has me void a book out. Kind of a pain, cause the system doesn't take into account discount & tax on a void, so I gotta work the math but whatever.
.....still not enough, need to take another one out. Bah. Couldn't.....couldn't just add it up ahead of time, could you?
He took like the only good books out, but whatever. Hands me some cash. And then he DUMPS A CRAPLOAD OF PENNIES IN FRONT OF ME AND TELLS ME TO TAKE WHATEVER I NEED

I SHALL CREATE A TIME MACHINE JUST SO I CAN KICK YOUR FATHER IN THE NARDS

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

It's not that hard, Marvel, really

So I'm going over the invoice for tomorrow's shipment of new comics. And I see that we are being given an amount of free overship copies of Dr. Doom & The Masters of Evil that is equal to our initial order. What this means is that we don't pay for them unless we can't sell them, if we can't then we just send this back. It seems fairly random as to what is chosen for this type of program sometimes.

You....you couldn't have done that to the Obama issue of Spider-Man? Really?

I mean, Dr. Doom & The Masters is
A) Going to be better that Amazing Spider-Man hands down
B) Something I'm gonna push hard in the store
and C) TOTALLY STARS DR. DOOM

But....realistically.....WHAT THE HELL DAMN GUY?!?!?

Pictures that make me happy

DRACULA.

DOOM.

WE'RE ON YUR MOON, STEALIN' YUR APOLLO LANDIN'
Curse you Abnett & Lanning, I didn't want to like the Authority again


Grundy vs Bizarro: FIGHT

The only way this could be more awesome is if it turns out to be a battle of wits. And then I will love you forever, Scott Kolins.

Huh

I....never ever thought they would have collected that

SUPERMAN: ENDING BATTLE TP

Written by Geoff Johns, Joe Casey, Mark Schultz and Joe Kelly
Art by Pascual Ferry, Duncan Rouleau and others Cover by Carlos Pacheco & Jesus Merino
When the villainous Manchester Black uncovers Clark Kent’s secret identity, it sets in motion one of the hardest days in Superman’s life. Collects stories from SUPERMAN #185-186, ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #608-609, SUPERMAN: THE MAN OF STEEL #130-131 and ACTION COMICS #795-796. Advance-solicited; on sale May 20 • 192 pg, FC, $14.99 US

I actually liked this story a lot when it came out. I need to reread it again cause it's been so long. I guess since it's Johns they decided to print it? Maybe?

DC marketing, you confuse me.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

hh



SPOILER ALERT: FINAL CRISIS #6
So, lots and lots of people are complaining about the fate of Batman in the past issue of Final Crisis. For those who will not read it and haven't heard about it, Batman pretty overcomes the worst possible mental torture (in another book but chronologically before this). He then proceeds to find Darkseid, THE GOD OF EVIL WHOSE VERY PRESENCE CORRUPTS REALITY, basically tells him off, and uses a gun with a poison god bullet to save the world and countless lives.

My stance? Fantastic. I am not a fan of everything Grant Morrison writes. But I am a fan of his past few years of DC work, because they show a passion and respect for the work before him, especially Jack Kirby's. And if you respect the Kirby, then my respect for you increases ten fold.

I take note that a lot of people who complain about Final Crisis #6 are the same people who 1) usually don't enjoy DC from the past couple years, 2) like to bring up the darker and grimmer style that is present in DC titles, and 3) really really don't like gun bit, and 4) find it all boring.

First off, this comment from reader The League on the Occasional Superheroine site sums up a lot of what I feel and in a much more concise way than I could muster:

"What I don't get, in this particular case, is why anyone is biting on the cliff-hanger ending to an issue of a comic where we don't know what will happen by the conclusion of issue 7. Let alone calling the scene you're talking about "disgusting".

I find treating any single issue as if its the FINAL issue of DC Comics, Batman comics, etc... when you're past the age of 22 or so, kind of mind-boggling. Batman died in the last volume of JLA at least twice, with at least one of those deaths penned by Grant Morrison (Rock of Ages and the Obsidian Age).

And, frankly, I really don't see how this is any more desperate than killing off Cap.

Death and destruction are sort of what the protagonists of the DCU are there to rail against. Without villains who are death-dealing and destructive, it doesn't make much sense to have heroes who want to stop them. Otherwise, one winds up with books in which characters slug it out for no discernible purpose.

I'm no fan of the grisly imagery that recently appeared in Teen Titans, but I also don't mind villains who can begin to reflect the sorts of atrocities we know are possible and which are A-O.K. in every other medium.

And if we want to look at the history, didn't DC have a storyline 20-odd years ago where they killed an infinite number of universes?

Some may not like the story, and that's fine. But to claim to know someone would only be enjoying Final Crisis because they mindlessly consume whatever DC puts out is more than a tad disingenuous. The exact same suppositions could be made that Marvel readers will mindlessly buy anything, no matter how trite (see: Secret Invasion).

Further, it doesn't begin to describe what's happening in other books, such as JSA, JLA, the Superman titles, etc...

If your problem is truly violence in comics, then I would expect a regular complaint department vis-a-vis Marvel's line of Wolverine and Punisher comics. I'd expect a full complaint regarding the recent Joker book by Azzarello, the inhuman behavior witnessed in The Killing Joke, and a denunciation of Nova pulling apart Annihulus's innards.

There is an entire final chapter to this story, and then a universe of comics coming afterward for an unknown number of years.The idea that Bruce Wayne is "dead" is somewhat ridiculous, but I do find it to be an interesting "

Well said. Also, Darkseid used the Omega Sanction, which as noted by many already online is not an actually death ray. "Back in Seven Soldiers: Mister Miracle, Morrison redefined the classic “Omega Effect” as the Omega Sanction, a sort of dimension where you live an endless number of lives, over and over again, reincarnating every time, never able to rejoin with the Source. Mister Miracle escaped from that, so it’s not impossible that Batman could either."

In my personal view, I generally like my superhero comics a bit lighter with a sense of humor and heroism. On the flip side of that , I really really love it when Jack Bauer kills the hell out of people. Violence has a place. You can overdo it, you can underdo it, you can tell a fantastic story utilizing violence, and you can tell a piece of crap story with violence. The Blob cannibalizing the Wasp? Crap. Nova pulling Annhilus inside out in a giant battle to save the universe? FRIGGIN' AWESOME. Sometimes it's just good storytelling. Sometimes, it's if the violence actually has a reasoning for existing. I find the majority of Mark Millar's violence (Kick Ass) unnecessary and gratuitous. Half the time it makes no sense, like in his current Wolverine run. Parts of that last issue reaaaaally sucked, but they existed so we could see Wolverine butcher the X-Men. Of course, this is comics so maybe I'm being too picky about things making no sense.

I think I have a whole separate post to get into if I want to delve into the darker aspects of the superhero world and each companies hand in this trend.

But, I do want to talk about the gun thing here. Seriously, dudes. I love the fact that Batman can do what he does without relying on guns. Batman doesn't go around killing people, and it makes sense that guns are something he just straight up hates. That being said, BATMAN KNOWS WHEN TO MAN THE FUCK UP. Best case example, this one time Batman has a case involving that douchebag Gunhawk. By the end of it, Batman was too far away to prevent Gunhawk from killing someone. So Batman used a sniper rifle to make an IMPOSSIBLE shot to disarm Gunhawk. And after that, he threw the rifle into the depths of the Batcave. Which, man, that place has got to be full of shit. There's a dead alien down there and who knows what else. But back to point. Batman doesn't kill the Joker every chance he gets because the Joker, for as much a threat as he is, WILL NEVER ENSLAVE THE WORLD INTO A HELLISH NIGHTMARE STATE OF DOOM.*

And then finally. Boring? awritjiaeogueasgusejgkseg
WHAT THE HELL DAMN GUY?!!?!?
TAWKY TAWNEY JUST HAD A FIGHT TO THE DEATH WITH KALIBAK.


*EDIT: Right, ok, except for that one time in Emperor Joker. It was a a slightly happier type of hellish nightmare state of doom though. Except for Batman. It just straight up sucked for him.