READ, DAMMIT

Nearly everyday, people will just walk right up to the door and start shaking the goddamn thing without realizing that THERE IS A BIG SIGN THAT SAYS CLOSED ON THE DOOR. And then those people look up realizing they can’t force the door open, look straight at the sign, and then notice that someone is inside. AND THEN THEY FUCKING KNOCK ON THE DOOR BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T READ THE HOURS LISTED RIGHT UNDERNEATH THE WORD ‘CLOSED’. And that’s when I answer the door and ask them what’s up, and they ask " You're closed?" or "Is something wrong with your door?"

Are.....are you sure you want to come into a store that sells reading material?

Now see, sometimes it doesn't hurt to let someone in early or late, especially if they call ahead or something. But usually I still have cleaning or paperwork to do, so it's not ideal. And when it's one of those dimwits that practically tries to tackle the door open, I really don't see the need to be generous.

I'm thinking about connecting an electrical current to the doorknob. Just to see what happens.