Friday, September 12, 2008

YOU.........BASTARD

This took place a while ago, but it's funny how hatred burns things down in your memory almost perfectly.

There’s a knock at the door, and I try to wave off the customer because it’s 30 minutes after closing and I’m closing the till out. Bastard won’t go away though...

Me: Uh, yeah?

Moron: Are you almost closed?

Me: ......I am closed (points at closed sign). It’s almost eight, we close at seven.

Moron: Oh, but I know exactly what I want.

Me: Ok, come on in. What is it?

Moron: Is there a Watchmen Volume 2?

Me: (Mentally: SHITFUCKCOCKSUCKER) .....no, only the one. Ever. (EVER EVER EVER FOR EVER AND EVER NEVER A SEQUEL FUCK)

Moron: Oh. Well, can I just look around? Or, I’m looking for just a good read? Can you recommend something? (Note: This fucker always wants me to recommend and never buys what I recommend. Never.)

Me: (FUCKINGFUCKYFUCKSHITFUCKER) I need to close up. I mean, you can’t take a look around. I’m already closed, I’m late. I don’t have time to recommend. The till, it’s closed.

Moron: Oh, in that case just a quick look around.

Me: (FRAGAAMAFUCKASHITASSDOUCHESUCKERCOCKHATEHATEHATE)

2 comments:

Mark Buchanan said...

I'm bringing you a baseball bat the next time I come in - to use on just such an ocassion as this!

Continually Spicy said...

Can you drive a nail through the top of the bat? I feel that a normal bat just might not be angry enough.