Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Evil real estate

Trying to figure out the best solution here. I mean if you're gonna go about the destruction of life, liberty, and all that jazz, then you really need an operational headquarters. And my current house is just too small to hide the doomsday cannon and I can forget about having henchmen tryouts here. It's not like you can just look up Craigslist for Evil Lairs, although I did find this:

So that just means I gotta build it myself, but where? So many choices.

Can always go the space station route. Which is handy cause A)the world will always know you can strike at any time from above and B) it makes it tough for asshole solicitors to bug you.
You can always go the usual space donut design, or the bulkier fortress of doom design.
The added bonus, of course, would be if your space fortress can transform for some wtfpwn action.

The arctic fortress option is interesting as well. The harsh condition keeps the riffraff out, but it might be a little easy for the world governments to find. Best to make sure to paint it white. The main problem is that red & blue douche is always flying around that area. Lead shielding will have to be a requirement.

The underground bunker option is enticing, although a bit claustrophobic. I don't know if i could put up with that many henchpeoples stuffed in there like sardines. And a little light from time to time wouldn't hurt. I mean, Lord of Darkness and all, but c'mon. Need a little vitamin D.

Now the Mt. Doom option is always nice, just for the sheer *holyshit!* you get from annoying do-gooders. All that lava tends to make anyone nervous, but I'm sure you get used to it after living there for a while. Not a big fan of that dry heat type of lifestyle, but as long as the hideout itself has AC I'm good2go.

The jungle option, not so crazy about. Sure it's usually hard to find and half the death traps are practically built in for you before you arrive, but hot and humid? Bleh.

Your own personal country has a nice "Screw you, world" feel to it. But again, makes for one big target.

Regardless of where the damn thing is built, it's gonna be a bitch finding a good interior decorator.....

1 comment:

Ben said...

Volcano, definitely a volcano.

Then fill it with goons in boiler suits and hard hats.

And a monorail.

And a moat full of piranhas.

And a space rocket that eats other space rockets.