My Fevered Brain Presents: Blind Justice Has a Big-Ass Robot

I feel the intense need to watch/read something that features the blind swordsman Zatoichi teaming up with Omega Supreme now.
via Relaqsa

via Here

And that would be the first issue of my new comic: Completely Unnecessary But Compelling Team-Ups. I think they would be a sufficiently hardcore introduction to the concept.

Issue #2: Tony Jaa & Rom The Space Knight in a little story called KYAG, Suckas

via GeekProspectus

via well, Rom

Issue #3: Abraham Lincoln & Jack Bauer in Four Score and Seven Ass-Kickings Ago

via SuperPunch

via SMH

Aaaaaaand I should finally go to sleep because I'm obviously delirious.

Memed

Wiec? over at When Is Evil Cool memed me on 6 things about yourself.

Here's the dillio:
1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules on your blog.
3) Write six random things about yourself.
4) Tag six people at the end of yer post and link to them
5) Let each of the six persons know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6) Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

If I told you anything about my day to day plotting, I would have to launch your houses into space. I'll keep it quick and useless:

1) I have been shot in the head with a laser once. This is a fact and a life goal achieved, so woot.

via Nationmaster

2) I do not like Ferris Bueler or A Christmas Story. Which makes me like the only person, I think. But seriously, it's all we ever watched in school durin' a free period or holiday.

3) I still get a little verklempt whenever I see Optimus Prime die. via Retrojunk

4) I really would have to think about it, but if I had to answer you who I thought was my favorite actor of all time on the spot I would probably answer Shintaro Katsu.

5) I never had Omega Supreme when I was a kid, and I will kill someone for it if I ever get the chance. Kill. Dead.

via OAFE

6) On one of the first days of my first job, I was told to guard the door to the backroom of the shop on one of the hottest days during Summer. The back was cool, shaded, breezy, and full of comics. I asked the boss if he y'know, wanted me to do any work. He just said 'Nope, just sit back, watch the door, and read comics.' On that day, the store had a guest signing stuff: comics legend Jim Steranko(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Steranko). I didn't know who he was back then , so I was just 'Okay, whatevs.' So there was Steranko, almost fainting of heat exhaustion and surrounded by sweaty comic nerds. And there was me: sittin' back, takin' in the breeze, and readin' some comics. Damn, it's good to be a gangsta.

via Wiki

Here are the six poor souls I'll pass this along to now:
1) ChrisHaley
2) rob!
3) Tlieso
4) D0nna Tr0y
5) Peter
6) Adri Leya

ThOOmm!!

Oh, so that's a WTFuppercut.

So burly, the sound of the punch is its own frame.

So, it might just be me.....

....but instead of reading Batman: Battle For the Cowl, I think I would like to read a title called Batman: Amok Time instead. And it would go a little something like this:

Upon finding himself trapped back in the time of Anthro the First Boy at the end of Final Crisis, Batman gets tired of waiting for DC editorial to send Booster Gold back in time to save him so it's time to do the job himself. Stealing a time machine from one of the fifty gajillion DC time villains randomly visiting the period he's stuck in(Lets say Per Degaton? Just cause?), Batman then looses the time machine in the belly of a T-Rex. After taming the T-Rex though, Batman uses its newly acquired time travelling abilities to port his way through DC history, teaming up with famous detectives and other heroes of the past to fight crime and injustice. Because he can't control the time dinosaur though, Batman doesn't know where he will end up and what each adventure will bring him.

And yes. Batman will totally get to punch Hitler in current continuity.

DC? You may now hire me.

via Nick Bachman

So....you're telling me you own comics

Guy came in with his son, who I would guess was no older than 12. After asking me a whole bunch of Watchmen questions, because he took his son to see it (really?), he starts to tell me what comics he owns in his collection. Like, all of them. Alllllllllllllllllllllllll of them.

And it doesn't sound like a bad collection, its a lot of '70's Marvel with a sprinkle of DC and some '80's thrown in. But I'm also in the middle of doing paperwork and entering orders and fairly obviously busy. I'm being polite and all though and just reply 'Oh, cool' and 'That's a good run' and so on the entire time.

An hour later, I think he finally finished telling me everything in his collection >_<

I really wasn't going anywhere with this, although I do fear for that kids sanity.

Golden Age Awesomeness

So we just picked up a massive Golden Age collection of Batman, Detective, and the World's Finest. I'll slowly post them on here just to show the awesomeness that is the Golden Age, but the store scanner doesn't work and neither does mine at home (bah!). So I'll slowly just link the covers through the ComicBookDB.

This one made me think of Chris Haley for some reason

If you crop the top off, that is the most awesome high five ever.

The sheer force of awesome it produces is actually making Robin reel backwards a little.

Also, I think this is the most times I've ever said awesome in one post.

This amuses me to no end

via BrentBrown

I am full of love, dammit

So I took that 'Which Lantern Corp are you?' test I posted earlier, right? This one here:
http://www.quizilla.com/quizzes/6281401/which-lantern-do-you-deserve

And I came out a Star Sapphire. Needless to say, many people have found this to be amusing.

But also.....

I would like to point out that I would totally make that shit look sexy, yo.

I also feel it is an appropriate time to post the following video:

Sapphire pic via DC Wikia

We meet again, my arch-est of enemies

So you know that dude I hate? Well, he's actually small game compared to my true archenemy. I say archenemy as no exaggeration because every time I have to deal with him I pretty much feel like this:

pic via ComicBookDB

I lose a small part of my ragged and shriveled soul every time I meet this guy. In fact, I'm fairly sure my soul has been replaced with nothing but pure rage and contempt just because of this dude. I hate him more than that dude I hate. Just.......just check this shit out. This is in no order, it's just the shit he pulls. Like every time. For ever. And ever.

-Kicked up a major fuss over .05 cents worth difference in the total the register gave for his purchase vs the total he came out to in the calculator. Yes, he carries a little pocket calculator and spends like 30 minutes every purchase figuring out his costs. If your budget is this tight, you should probably just stop with the comics.

And I mean a fuss. Like he would not let it go, so to shut him up I just tossed him the change from my pocket. It was that day I sadly discovered that the mental daggers I was throwing at him with my mind were not lethal at all.

-Has asked us numerous times to buy him something from another store and then resell it to him with his subscription discount because we sold out of it. For reals.

-Told me he didn't want to order a $50 book, but he wanted to see it so he asked if I could order it. It was a random piece of crap, so I said no we need a pre-order for it because I have no confidence it would sell. So he then asked me to search through all the other stores in the city so he could go and look at it. My hatred aura makes babies cry within a one block radius wherever I go.

-Constantly filled his order forms in the following way: Items marked in pen meant he for sure probably wanted them kinda, while items marked in pencil meant he sorta kinda wanted them but not enough for a 100% commitment, more like a 60% commitment. That shit.....that shit does not fly with orders. And it would always be like a $50+ box of Xena collecting cards or something like that he scribbled down in pencil. Not to come down on Xena, but seriously I am not gonna order those cards without a commitment.

-Will ask my female co-worker a question, then completely disregard her answer and ask a male worker the same question.

-Will come in and look at the books in his subscription constantly, but never buy them until some point at the end of the month. So he always has us pull them out so he can inspect them. Just....just come in once a month. Please.

-He came in one time and hung out for like an hour like he usually does, and I helped him on and off. I was sick that day and feeling kinda nauseous and bleh, so after he left I excused myself to the restroom cause I felt horrible. I hear his voice and he has come back in and asked someone where I went, they say I went to the restroom, and he says he will wait. I would have broken through the wall into the next store over if I only had a hammer. And he totally waited me out too, the bastard. I open the door and he is like staring at the restroom door. And his question? Do I think if some random comic will be worth collecting, cause y'know, all this shit we buy today will pay out millions of dollars in the future. skfsgzghf;lv;ls

-Expects any comics he might sell (to us, a retailer) full guide price if not more.

-I am 96% sure he never ever ever ever ever reads his comics.

-Oh and he will interrupt other customers.

Now take all of those, and repeat. Constantly. Every week or so. I am still leaving stuff out.

When I finally enact my terrible doom plans on this planet, you'll know who to blame.

Ruh-oh

So, 6 customers over the past four days have sent me their new subscription lists, and on every email they all say the same thing: have to trim off the bulk of Marvel, $3.99 is too expensive.

I've already had plenty of customers do this, but not this many all at once. It was like pow pow pow all in direct reply to my last email newsletter, and the customers are all across the spectrum of jobs so it wasn't like they were all Microsoft or anything.

So, Marvel. I refuse to believe you are all friggin' idiots. You all have to read the numbers. Marketing has to exist for some reason. What's up? What's the grand master plan?

Bah.

Trustyhenchmen

So as I noted earlier, I've been working on another project lately which is partially why my posting is kinda random. Although honestly it was random in the first place, but that's besides the point. NEW SITE!

I'm not dropping this blog at all though. The new blog has a very specific purpose and is something I've been wanting to do for a while now. See, I don't really bother doing reviews on this blog for a few reasons. First, I figure there are so many review sites out there anyways and it would be kind of a waste of effort to just do straight up reviews without bringing something else to the table. Which is not a dig on other review sites, but considering I don't have too much traffic on this blog I wanted to try something different.

And that something is http://trustyhenchmen.com/

So, to give you a better idea of exactly what I want to try to do, I'm gonna copy & paste the About info from the new blog here. Because, you guessed it, I'm still a little lazy.

"I’ve worked many years in comic book retail, and one of the things I enjoy the most is recommending books to new readers. I’ve seen many other retailers handle this situation a number of ways, including only recommending books that they personally enjoy the most. While I believe you should have that passion for what you like, I also think you are shortchanging the customer and your business.

I always believe that you should find out exactly what the customer likes. Do they prefer fantasy? Crime? Do they only like drama and prefer no men-in-tights in their stories? Or are they a super-hero fan all the way? Once you get a better idea of their personal leanings, then you can direct them towards something they can enjoy more. The best way to make sure you can do this properly is to have a good general knowledge of what is available to them in every genre. Think of it as necessary homework if you want to be a successful comic book retailer. If you don’t know what Maus is or have never read Whatever Happened To The Man of Tomorrow, then you might be a little lost sometimes when you want to help somebody out.

The purpose of this blog is to create a database of short reviews on every sort of comic book imaginable. This is meant for virtually anyone interested in comics, not just retailers who are trying to expand their base knowledge of what is available. I’ll be categorizing each book listed here by a number of different genres, as well as tagging them with creator names so you can have easy access to whatever grabs your interest."

So, I was hoping on having more reviews done before I linked the site here, but 15 is a good enough start I think. The host is Klat, which I'm still getting used to their design and overall system but I've had a lot of help setting it up and it will continue to morph a little as we go.

The reviews are not especially long, mostly because I am more concerned about building the database and giving the 'how to recommend' notes above all else. As I have more time I will try to expand on them, but considering my goal is to catalog hundreds and hundreds of titles I need to pace myself considering I will maintain this site as well.

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, and you can leave that here or over there or wherever.