Tuesday, March 10, 2009

We meet again, my arch-est of enemies

So you know that dude I hate? Well, he's actually small game compared to my true archenemy. I say archenemy as no exaggeration because every time I have to deal with him I pretty much feel like this:

pic via ComicBookDB

I lose a small part of my ragged and shriveled soul every time I meet this guy. In fact, I'm fairly sure my soul has been replaced with nothing but pure rage and contempt just because of this dude. I hate him more than that dude I hate. Just.......just check this shit out. This is in no order, it's just the shit he pulls. Like every time. For ever. And ever.

-Kicked up a major fuss over .05 cents worth difference in the total the register gave for his purchase vs the total he came out to in the calculator. Yes, he carries a little pocket calculator and spends like 30 minutes every purchase figuring out his costs. If your budget is this tight, you should probably just stop with the comics.

And I mean a fuss. Like he would not let it go, so to shut him up I just tossed him the change from my pocket. It was that day I sadly discovered that the mental daggers I was throwing at him with my mind were not lethal at all.

-Has asked us numerous times to buy him something from another store and then resell it to him with his subscription discount because we sold out of it. For reals.

-Told me he didn't want to order a $50 book, but he wanted to see it so he asked if I could order it. It was a random piece of crap, so I said no we need a pre-order for it because I have no confidence it would sell. So he then asked me to search through all the other stores in the city so he could go and look at it. My hatred aura makes babies cry within a one block radius wherever I go.

-Constantly filled his order forms in the following way: Items marked in pen meant he for sure probably wanted them kinda, while items marked in pencil meant he sorta kinda wanted them but not enough for a 100% commitment, more like a 60% commitment. That shit.....that shit does not fly with orders. And it would always be like a $50+ box of Xena collecting cards or something like that he scribbled down in pencil. Not to come down on Xena, but seriously I am not gonna order those cards without a commitment.

-Will ask my female co-worker a question, then completely disregard her answer and ask a male worker the same question.

-Will come in and look at the books in his subscription constantly, but never buy them until some point at the end of the month. So he always has us pull them out so he can inspect them. Just....just come in once a month. Please.

-He came in one time and hung out for like an hour like he usually does, and I helped him on and off. I was sick that day and feeling kinda nauseous and bleh, so after he left I excused myself to the restroom cause I felt horrible. I hear his voice and he has come back in and asked someone where I went, they say I went to the restroom, and he says he will wait. I would have broken through the wall into the next store over if I only had a hammer. And he totally waited me out too, the bastard. I open the door and he is like staring at the restroom door. And his question? Do I think if some random comic will be worth collecting, cause y'know, all this shit we buy today will pay out millions of dollars in the future. skfsgzghf;lv;ls

-Expects any comics he might sell (to us, a retailer) full guide price if not more.

-I am 96% sure he never ever ever ever ever reads his comics.

-Oh and he will interrupt other customers.

Now take all of those, and repeat. Constantly. Every week or so. I am still leaving stuff out.

When I finally enact my terrible doom plans on this planet, you'll know who to blame.


Anonymous said...

You must point this guy out to me if I'm in the store at the same time....cuz I'll go all ninja asskicker on his shit.

Continually Spicy said...

I like having ninja asskickery at my command