THAT’S JUST CREEPY, MAN

So when I was 16 working for my first comic book boss (who was completely crazy, mind you), I had a very creepy and disturbing experience. There was another worker there who was an old acquaintance of the boss. I would have to put him somewhere in his 40s or 50s, but my memory sucks. He was the epitome of a crazy old hippy, and his mind wasn't working on all cylinders. And of course I had to work with him nearly every day.

So, one time while we were working he decided to look at some porno comics that were on hold for a customer. After a while he begins to laugh and he brings a book over to me, pointing at a page inside of a woman giving a dude a blow-job. And he just had to say, "Have you ever had one of those? Man, that feels great." And then he proceeded to tell me more about how good a blow job feels. Now I don't know if he was trying to educate me or if he was trying to impress me with the fact that he's gotten a blow job. Either way, I didn't really care and seriously didn’t want to continue the conversation. Which, I suppose it wasn’t really a conversation when all I was saying was, "Uhhh....welll.......uh....."

So two lessons from this. First and most important is try to keep the creepy old men out of the store. You can probably get a good feeling for how much of an old hippy they are depending on the lack of personal hygiene and the inappropriate giggling at the weirdest times. Also, for some reason, hippies tend to love the character Swamp Thing the most out of all the possible comic book characters. I shit you not, like 8 out of 10 hippies I’ve met all agree, Swamp Thing is the shit.

Lesson number two is mostly to just keep the porn away from the dirty old men. If that isn’t possible, just keep the dirty old men away from the young and impressionable workers you have.