THE ‘YOU ARE NOW AUTOMATICALLY SUSPICIOUS’ QUESTION

One of the questions we as retailers never ever want to hear you ask is, "What’s the most expensive/rare comic you have?" Unless you are a little kid accompanied by a parent, you are now automatically on the potential shoplifter list. And do you know why, motherfucker? Because there is no reason whatsoever that you need to be asking that question if you happen to:

-Look like you can barely pay your utilities let alone for a rare comic

-Be wearing clothing 4 times your size

-Look like a person who collects those little pamphlets that have pictures of missing children on them

-It's the first thing you do/ask when you enter the store

-It's the last thing you do/ask after you were obviously CASING THE STORE

-Your girlfriend looks a little high and/or dead

-YOU ARE TWITCHING LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA

And 9 out of 10 times, it’s always one of those guys.